Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
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Top comments
beacbum7 7
Maybe she wasn't interested so she tried to get you to dislike her?
Mr_Mole 24
I'll have her instead then. There's nothing wrong with a down to earth girl that finds that funny.
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Comments (140)
sweetmama88 6
That's a total win ! Just talk to her about your farts and see how she reacts , maybe she will get the message !
CuriousAlien 7
I guess she was trying to impress you? Just make sure she doesn't order any beans or cheese, or else you're screwed
Megan98 18
Well, at least she's comfortable with you? Haha
lulzcoaster 3
call pepe la pew i think u found him a date
Psychology_13 8
maybe you should't be so boring, then she would not have to talk about her stinky farts.
Meme1988 18
Haha still to hear about the story is way better to live that story!
Meme1988 18
I feel bad for the people at her office
LexieWins 0
That's disgusting. Some girls don't understand that "being one of the guys" just means liking sports and being a good wing woman in public. How can being down to earth have anything to do with farting in front of a guy you're seeing? Seriously? Do you thing that makes him want to bang you?!
emilyjgraham 34
Jesus, it'll a fart. if he doesn't like it he'll end what ever they have going on! a woman can fart in front of someone if she wants and it doesn't mean she wants to be "one of the guys".
kiwienne 21
Not everything is about banging. Also, go live your miserable, elegant life somewhere else instead of here, where people actually know something funny when they see it. Notice how most guys in here call her a "keeper"
comodysweat 2
She's a keeper!
hordriss 14
She sounds like a laugh. :)