Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML
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Top comments
eyecon502 13
So she was talking out her ass?
Rddvl 11
Haha. I can just imagine the awkward silence after she farted.
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Comments (112)
Icecream93 4
Because its possible.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1- "Because its possible." is a terrible initial post for two reasons. 1) "Because its possible." is a sentence fragment. 2) The word "its" should read "it's", as it's a conjugation of the words "it" and "is".
Icecream93 4
When was the last time you saw any positivity in your existance?
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
I see positivity every day. It's no skin off my back if my comment gets buried. It irks me when people can't type a simple sentence. If it's a meme, you have my most sincere apologies. Otherwise, it lacks the most vital parts of a sentence.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
12 You have created a new breed of the grammar army; the furious Grammar Troll! Powerful enough to deal 50% more douchbaggery than the average grammar nazi.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
20- I giggled at your comment. My delivery was terrible. I just got home from a 12 hour shift as a sales associate, so pardon my annoyance. I'm taking my frustration out on the wrong people. I need to start punching old ladies in the checkout line.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
25- I'm a 19 year old female, living in a sprawling city, who plays Internet spaceship MMO's and attends college. I hardly live in a humorless place, let alone a dungeon. In case you missed my previous post, I apologized for my haughty comment earlier.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
39 - Lets say there's this person who was a jackass and acted like a jerk at his work. Than he realized that he wasn't treating people right and apologized and changed over time. So you're basically saying you wouldn't like him anymore because he learned from his mistake and apologized and became a better person?
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Yep I did.. Be free to thumbs down my other comment lol.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Internet Spaceship MMO? What is its name, I must investigate.
chimocho 8
All I can think of is Starcraft. But not sure if that's what she was referring to.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
69 The only one I can think of is eve online. ^Starcraft is an RTS not mmo... God I'm such a nerd:p
chris36taylor 2
Conjunction*
DocBasterdwanabe 4
If there's an ass to be grabbed, there's a bitch to be stabbed! speaking of which, "honey come here!"
FiestaInMyPants 8
1 and 78, you mean contraction. "It's" is a contraction. >.< Hypocrisy gets us nowhere, so let's not assume we're gods of English, and instead let's remember that FML is not a school and you're not a teacher.
Eiregal2 10
About the starship game thing. Maybe star trek online?
Shootermtd25 7
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE GO WAH WAH UT GRAMMAR SHOULD BE IT'S NOT ITS. OR THATS A SENTENCE FRAGMENT STFU WHAT ARE U A GRAMMAR TEACHER. THIS IS NOT AN ESSAY IT'S FRIKIN FML
Kelsarella 1
Razzle, what's your FB? I'm from Canada too and would love to hear more about your directing.
IamSharkWeek 0
well that stinks
jasonbrosef 0
No.
shanemaximo 7
That probably pissed her off so much more. Especially if she got mud-butt from it.
theHIGHroad2 5
Nothing makes me happier than when my name is called with farting sounds :D
Jamialia 5
I read the FML as 'that she farted in my coffee.' Gross in both cases.
Mash_SF 1
Huff huff!!! PUFF! Oops...
loserman67 36
Now that is one angry bitch....
Rddvl 11
Haha. I can just imagine the awkward silence after she farted.
ydi_4_suking 20
I like to imagine the fart being all squeaky and long
iMightBeYourDad 4
Throw a rock at her.
traze 7
Where would you get a rock in a office?! A chair would be more appropriate.
iMightBeYourDad 4
I was kidding. .___.
traze 7
I wasn't(-_-)....
linkinpark98 24
I hope you had some matches nearby. :s
NeDaroft 5
Which was worse , the scolding or the fart ?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It would've been worse if she sharted.
jasonbrosef 0
Tension gone
eyecon502 13
So she was talking out her ass?
DankNissan 11
n