Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
buctastic 0
Fine. But I'm pretty sure something else will get me first.
babawaba 0
That actually might be better than lung cancer... I heard its not nice at all.
mikaela33194 0
#111 and #112. that's my point just because you are gay does not mean you will get AIDS. First of all, AIDS develops after being HIV+ and having your tcells drop to a certain point. Secondly, regardless of what some have said on here, I have never said that smokers will die of cancer. So I was speaking for myself. If you've ever taken a deductive logic course before my point would have been clear you cannot compare the smoker to cancer comparison to the gay men to AIDS comparison.
mikaela33194 0
because being a smoker is referring to an action....smoking which is a risk factor for smoking. and being a gay man is not a risk factor for AIDS, the act that some gay men take of having unsafe sex is the risk factor. all smokers smoke. not all gay men have risky unsafe sex.
stephdur 0
I smoked 27's for 3 years and then switched to Smooths, just becuase they are a menthal doesn't make them any cheaper. The homeless man must not have known this, seeing as though it has probably been a couple years sense he has bought a pack...
mikaela33194 0
and by risk factor for smoking I meant lung cancer. (stupid typos)
king15 0
...and you care what a hobo thinks about you because....?
ssyyyykke 0
hahahahahaha. i agree with # 94.
beestmode360 0
wow anyone else noticed that lately all everyone does is whine? "Today I thought I was all cool smoking my cigs, but instead a vagrant comes up to me and owns my life. Waa waa."
lostinthecthru 1
If you need to smoke, why they hell would you care if it was menthol ornot? jeez