Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
XDNLxtlz99 0
You polute our earth. lol, jk. Everything polutes the earth, everything causes cancer. Do i approve of the fact that people smoke? No. Is there jack shit i can do about it? Not really.
Eris_Incarnate 0
Ok, so I was in Atlanta a few years ago and a bum asked me for a smoke. I had about half a pack and had my lighter in the box. I pulled out the one cig, went to hand it to him, he grabbed the pack and took off. Sometimes being a smoker sucks.
Diablojr 0
i know i'm late but #43 made a good point, there are soo many other carciogens in your life to be afraid or pissed off about the only reason you pick on smokers is that you can only hate what you've been raised to.
ILoveJace01 0
Lol wow. Beggars can't be choosers. Oh well. One more for you! =)
satanicminnow1 1
dont smoke dipshit ydi
roundyswater 0
You can't tell me I have the same risk of getting cancer eating Pot Noodles and Chips every day that I would if I smoked every day. So don't compare the two.
luvtigers22 2
if he wanted a cig he shouldnt be so picky about what kind and should really think about it when he says something is cheap.
LazyLlama 0
While it is a bit absurd for those to say a person "deserves to die" because of cancer, nonetheless smoking is quite frankly an absurd thing to do. First, one individual attempted to compare smoking's secondhand smoke to car emissions. However, this is absurd. Cars/transportation obviously provide a gigantic contribution in nearly all areas of life through transportation. Smoking, a "feel-good" that is NOT needed or essential as billions who don't smoke show that you don't need that and it can be achieved in thousands of ways not as detrimental. Additionally, car exhaust is LESS dangerous than cigarette smoke. "The key difference is that tobacco, being a biological product, contains much more nitrogen than does crude or refined petroleum, in which nitrogen is rare. Thus, tobacco and tobacco smoke contain several classes of nitrogen containing chemicals that are not present in petroleum fuels and their exhausts." [http://www.asthmaregionalcouncil.org/about/documents/ComparingToxinsinTobaccoandCarExhaust.pdf] Furthermore, vehicle have filters that limit exhaust: these limit car exhaust by 80% (http://www.azom.com/news.asp?newsID=2943). Cigarettes have nothing near this, if they even have so-called "filters" at all. Second, smoke-advocates ridiculously claim that individuals should just "avoid" smokers. Unfortunately for them, there exists no such thing as the magic smoke-beacon; in crowds, sidewalks, etc. it's seriously ludicrous to believe one can avoid smokers. By the time you smell it, it's too late.
Emilybeanz 0
You can't tell me I have the same risk of getting cancer eating Pot Noodles and Chips every day that I would if I smoked every day. So don't compare the two. What's the difference? My Grandad smoked right up until he died at 79 and never got any smoking related disease so be quiet.
babawaba 0
@#141: Moar power to ya. Do as all a favor and keep smoking/start smoking. Natural selection~