Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
sjks 0
durhur enjoy your cancer....yeah well its probably more likely that one of the commenters gets cancer due to genetics than from smoking...smoking doesnt automatically mean cancer, obviously its not healthy but neither is eating junk food.
rinaldy 0
this story is bogus
Ilikejeans 0
I thought this was supposed to make people laugh...haha these comments are ridiculous..the point is to get a little satisfaction at the misfortune of others...which thank you very much to this post, I did. haha.
AkihiroHattori5 0
WOw, that actually sounds fake. And I never say that. What hobo would say that?
Fragnox 3
The guy likely wasn't a hobo, or this story is bogus. If you're actually a hobo I don't see how you'd turn down a free cigarette just because you don't like the brand.
oloie 0
thanks # 3 and any one that agrees with him/her. you shouldnt be smoking and giving it out to people... smoking almost killed my grandpa... its a horrible thing taht should be totaly outlawed!
MsSippi 0
@55 - I don't smoke, but for some reason I love the smell of smoke mixed with cologne. So I don't guess you can say EVERYONE hates the smell of smoke anymore.
Creat1ve 0
SMOKING SUCKS......u both need Jesus.
Emry_fml 0
At least you didn't have to give him one of your precious cigarettes you poor soul.
Stay_beautiful 0
aw...#42 took the words out of my mouth lol.