Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
roundyswater 0
This is ridiculous. Why not just let everyone do what they want, instead of calling non-smokers stupid? Stop being elitist, I don't smoke but what do I care what everyone else does? The only reason you should care is if secondhand smoke is a problem. And it should only be a problem if it is somewhere where you are forced to be - (home, work, NOT a restaurant).
mutantcow 0
how'd you know he was a hobo?
babawaba 0
@#123: This is the interbutts, the only reason someone would "care" is because smokers get butthurt(wich is fun) and some even go out saying how cool they are for smoking and that the lung cancer stuff is not true. Please, go on. Lulz
scottie06 0
FYL for trying to be nice to a picky SOB hobo.. I could just picture him asking for money after rejecting your offer as cheap. Should burn the bitch. Oh, and this isn't about whether smoking is bad or not people, get over it.
mikaela33194 0
#123 what about people who work at a restaurant...just pointing out.
roundyswater 0
haha ok 127. But with restaurants, it's pretty easy to apply to one that's either non-smoking or smoking, if you have that big of a preference. Other kinds of work where it's really hard to switch jobs, though, should probably be non-smoking. This all reminds me of Airplane. "Would you like your ticket smoking, or non-smoking?"
Emilybeanz 0
Just a general LOL at all the Susan Spiffs who are saying YDI etc because she smokes. Pot Noodles and Chips apparantly both cause cancer too, do you go around slating every everyone you see eating those? I don't think you do. #82 said it perfectly.
morekiller 0
you should smoke pot, not cigarettes :]
Kaileigh 6
That is hilarious!!!!
were_giraffe 2
hey more smokes for you then. actually i know guys who smoke them just because the moochers don't want them.