Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
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Top comments
sn24swim 13
if shes going to leave you after something stupid like that, you're better off without her OP
tj4234 36
For the record, I like quiche.
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Comments (138)
PrinceOfBritain 20
Hey man at least you have a choice. A lot of guys I know can only use one
nitrog100 21
That's why blind dates are stupid.
chucksfriday 21
At least rosy Palmer is always loyal
kiki9_fml 10
I personally don't like quiche, however I know how to pronounce it. I think you may have dodged a stupid bullet anyways. Especially if she got mad at you.
kayvan 8
You dodged a stupid bullet. Be grateful.
sarah2144 14
Quiche is awesome. Especially if there's bacon in it. You're better off.
Bethani420 5
smile and nodd. talking is dangerous lol
rachelllllb 18
use your opposite hand to usual... its supposed to feel like someone else is doing it for you...
writerchic85 26
So you went on a blind date assuming you were going to get laid later? That's presumptuous of you isn't it?
Ashleighalfred 14
Pretty sure you lucked out here... I'd celebrate that narrow miss