Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
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Top comments
xnyletak 17
It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.
Somuchart 3
I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.
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Comments (90)
thaddaeus413 7
Hit that gym
Somuchart 3
No guts no glory
Somuchart 3
I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.
Somuchart 3
@1 you're comment is stupid when you consider the ops name
JocelynKaulitz 28
#1, I'm sure he hasn't considered that before…
TheCanucklehead 22
Beast mode time.
Rednipplehippo 1
I know right. It's his own fault
spoo 24
Lots of "him" "his" for a woman.
Katiakatxx 13
that's awful! D: it also reminds me of Family guy..
Blink_me26 21
That was my first thought too
Doritozilla 20
"I need an adult, I NEED AN ADULT!"
paskievitchjack 23
I need an adult! I need an adult!
DrHail 22
Fyl, OP. I know the feeling. But that's ok! You're probably too fabulous anyway.
jazzy_123 20
OP is probably PHAT, Pretty Hot And Tempting.
spoo 24
sick of fat being given Euphemisms...
jazzy_123 20
80, I'm pretty sure you can't handle a real PHAT woman *hair flip*
Fender60_fml 6
U probably need to lay of the snacks, like cake.
xnyletak 17
You probably need to lay off the bitchiness.
Fender60_fml 6
Nigga shut yo titts
SilentNightz 9
Lose dem pounds.
EternalTime 7
Good advice, I'm sure this never ran through his head
Lilxpie 18
#60 - Her head you mean.
PunsY0 5
4th
PunsY0 5
*6th
whiteboy896 9
And ill be the 1st to say, who cares?
wheres_waldo13 4
lay off them twinkies
NessaMae 19
This seems like a common problem considering the vast amount of FML's similar to this one lol.
xnyletak 17
It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.
Gingerette 8
Heck yeah. I broke out my vat of walrus fat back in November.
xnyletak 17
Thinking ahead! Good job!
awkwardturtl3 3
they need glasses