Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
That's pretty crappy -- your sister's a real little shit. So, what was the brown chunky stuff?
InnocentLies 0
That stinks.
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Comments (73)
marmots 0
ew...
mhnilo88 0
maybe it was dry dog poo... not fresh... that would be much worse. fyl for having a sister that evil. you should trade her in for a nicer one.
craaazymonkey 0
mmm...
MissBunny25 0
"if you have any poo, fling it now".
jose190617 0
I stepped in dog poop today if it makes you feel better now my moms car smells bad
catalystics 2
did u punch her?
SnowFlakeInAK 7
Really? Why do you ask each FML OP if they've punched something? You have issues; I suggest professional help.
j300zx 0
You mean falcon punch her?!
smileeee_fml 0
i would get her back with revenge ... just saying.
MissBunny25 0
30 faaallllccccooooonnnn punch!!
tulsafml 0
it's st Patrick day so pinch her
TheNewGuy03 29
falcon kick works just as well, i hear. |the kid|
InnocentLies 0
That stinks.
jpark5 0
aha!
craaazymonkey 0
BAH!
doughd00d 1
I see what you did there ;)
luke1998 0
oh i get it now
helloimjoshlol 0
mmmm mmm mmm
perdix 31
That's pretty crappy -- your sister's a real little shit. So, what was the brown chunky stuff?
MyChemical_fml 0
Mud...
craaazymonkey 0
chocolate fudge ... mmmm
SmallyBigs 9
Can I say it?... that was a shitty situation.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Fertilizer?
jonan1212 5
pooOOP
T3P33_fml 0
chocolate. 2nd hand chocolate.
IStoleTheCookies 16
it was a *****... and it hit OP on the forehead.
TheNewGuy03 29
are you guys all dense? did you not notice the numerous (and ridiculously clichéd) poop puns he made? |the kid|
Adorlee 11
Obviously it was brownies
Hello_kitty_love_fml 0
choclate? 50 day rule! :D
epople 5
Haha
Foexo 0
Should've thrown it back. Just sayin.
badmamujamu 0
no no u got it all wrong it was pudding
j300zx 0
No you got it wrong! It was snickers!
MissBunny25 0
happy peanuts soar, over chocolate covered mountain tops , and waterfalls of caramel... dancin nougat in the meadow, sings a song of satisfaction toooooooo the world. snickers song.
truehitman2010 0
was the other brown chunky think a chocolate bar? I've been searching for it all day
baseballin25 0
climbers?
enonymous 9
Should have taken her to the ice cream store the first time she asked instead of the shitty park.
WolfRayet104 0
how,....disturbing. this reminds me of the time I was little, and I was rolling (yes,rolling) down the hills at the park, and I rolled over a pile of dog....dookie.
GLiTTeRz 0
lol that's HIGHlarious