Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad had been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AndyPurdy 31
what the actual ****
gintwinsmoore 20
were u driving that fast or was the turkey moving that slow???
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
AndyPurdy 31
what the actual ****
drunkmunkey 24
haven't you seen South Park? turkeys are dangerous but you can count on an Etheropian named Marvin to get rid of their bodies after the battle so it all works out :)
Wakachulak 22
OP. if you only now found out how much a windshield costs, you have been very, very lucky.
fsomelife 26
Unless he bought the car yesterday.
incoherentrmblr 22
Which in that case, should be covered under some bumper-to-bumper warranty, unless the car is pre-owned/used...
Eliseopwns 22
Wait, Turkeys can fly??
sprints54 19
Yes
rocker_chick105 31
Not many people believe they can. Wild turkeys can actually fly fairly far. I've been walking my dogs on my land and spooked a mother turkey from her nest, and she flew up to a tree branch about fifteen feet in the air. Of course we left the nest alone and walked away in case something happened.
ZacPalmer 12
That's why OP said he/she found out that turkeys can fly. Otherwise, OP probably wouldn't have said that.
Dahvood 6
I live in a second floor apartment, and have had them on my deck occasionally
limegreenpoopie 31
What were you smoking?!
StraightUpBaller 14
Meth. A little ecstasy on the side, too. But man, that turkey ****** him up.
TheBelt 19
bathsalts and meth he wasn't ready.
gintwinsmoore 20
were u driving that fast or was the turkey moving that slow???
slingerslasher 24
Turkeys apparently look up during rainstorms and drown.
LiBurtY1791 9
Urban legend
Markovski 18
Free dinner though!
Shmatterhorn 38
Turkey on glass? I'll pass.
sunnyskys 25
Won't the food be no good? I I'm correct you can shoot it in the body cause it will ruin the meat/bird.
Evil_Jester 17
I have seen wild turkeys fly
stingray112 24
Cmon man follow up on this
stingray112 24
Cmon man follow up on this
flyingmind_fml 17
yeaaah i'm the first one to comment !! it'll probably be moderated in a few minutes :p tho i'm happy
stingray112 24
Unless you meant to say eighth person, then you are mistaken.
mewfasa35 12
I would love to know the full story to this....