Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
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Top comments
sn24swim 13
if shes going to leave you after something stupid like that, you're better off without her OP
tj4234 36
For the record, I like quiche.
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Comments (138)
the_rad_brad47 18
Go with right always go with right
mutukrp 13
self-help is always better than being helped by some random stranger who ditched you for silly reasons! but don't you know its always the dominant hand?
CaroAurelia 12
Something tells me you'd have a lot more fun with your hands than with a girl like that. She sounds like a piece of work.
sc3ptical 30
WOW who does that?! I would have started blushing and laughing and going "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'VE BEEN SAYING IT WRONG MY WHOLE LIFE!" FYL, tho.
JLDork 11
is anyone else wondering how he corrected her? i mean, there's correcting, and there's condescending mocking of a mistake.
Gillett 23
Well, righty tighty, lefty loosey! Right hand grips well but takes some effort, but the left hand is easy to get into bed!
Keystonestate 6
Right
abNormal62 23
Why choose? Use both and then you can scratch "have a threesome" off your bucket list!
theflyingbrant 9
you did the right thing OP.
Exaspera 55
You expected sex just because you were going to buy her dinner!?