Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know why they never said thank you!!
cumatmebro 0
Technology. iI's getting quite polite these days.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know why they never said thank you!!
LightningCactus 12
Thank you.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Those rude air fresheners they don't even have enough manners to say thank you.
porp1 4
During flu season, even technology has to take precautions.
eb0ny 15
That's why you only say "bless you" once when someone sneezes. Saying it four times is creepy.
MaceFaceLOL 8
...or polite
croso88 5
Op you must of been in there a long, long time because those only go off every 5 mins at the least every 15 mins at most
Damn_Hippster 11
Last time I checked air fresheners don't say "Ah-choo" but I could be wrong, technology is always advancing.
Kamiel_fml 0
No it's polite!
L0V34L1F3 9
Maybe op was doing #2 and it smelled so bad the air freshener had to spray frequently.
cumatmebro 0
Technology. iI's getting quite polite these days.
cumatmebro 0
Just re read the fml.... and then what I wrote. FML
DooleyFTW 17
Yeah that was quite a fail. At least your name conjured up a colourful image!
MaceFaceLOL 8
Why the hell are people down-voting you. You made an honest mistake and you corrected yourself it happens all the time. +1
Wederoney 16
I'm sorry but in what universe does an automatic air freshener sound like a sneezing person?!?
newlove_fml 0
Oh wow. I've seen people complaining about getting themselves thumbed down but never about someone else.
hopeforkitty 0
Haha.
construction 7
Only in women bathrooms are there air fresheners
NoobCommenter96 0
Don't worry happens to the best of us.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Lol I wish my sneezes sounded like air fresheners...but don't worry I would have done the same thing:) you were just being polite.
saIty 17
I hear you. I've been told my sneezes are loud and obnoxious. My sneeze: Ah.. ah... Ah.... WHY WON'T IT COME OUT?! ..AHCHOOOO!!!
MaceFaceLOL 8
Ahahahahaha that's awesome I have these pathetic little sneezes that is just air escaping from my nose.
GoW_Chick 15
I have high-pitched girly sneezes, and they always come in threes, people say to me "aww that's so cute you sound like a mouse with a cold," but I just find my sneezes rather annoying. -.-
MaceFaceLOL 8
I only sneeze in sets of two.
desireev 18
I always have the set of 3. The first 2 are little-bitty and extremely high-pitched. And the last one will blow the walls down! Haha My last sneeze is so big, I am surprised that my nose hasn't shot off my face yet! Haha
hahaha1699 0
haha lmfao
KiddNYC1O 22
Mine sounds like waves crashing... on very fragile glass... and a wail at the end.
megladon 0
i sneeze in sets of 5-7 that nearly knock the house down
Azninvasion217 0
I sneezed during my final and it was really loud and it came with no warning. This one nice girl in my class yelped in udder terror and gave me a look I'll never forget...
DooleyFTW 17
Well I'd understand saying bless you once but three times? Even if it was a real person they'd probably just tell you to shut up rather than say thank you xD
jezane 9
I'd say thank you three times...
DooleyFTW 17
Socially awkward penguin is it really you?
manatees_r_epic 0
I say "bless" you for every sneeze, considering the origin of the phrase is that when you sneeze, a demon leaves your body. So I'd bless someone for every "demon".
DooleyFTW 17
Yes because demons really exist and really do escape your body when you perform a natural biological function to expel germs from your system.
DooleyFTW 17
People actually say bless you because of a deep rooted superstition that's a part of every society no matter how much a person denies being superstitious, I for one don't consider myself superstitious but there are certain habits I have that are technically based on superstition. People didn't know that bodily functions ceased for a moment when the phrase was coined so that's not why they say it, it was more to do with the "evil spirits" or "demons" or whatever a certain culture believes.
manatees_r_epic 0
Whether or not they exist isn't the point. The point is its origin. If you're going to use the phrase, use it correctly.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
So when you're sick, hundreds demons possess your body or what? >.>
ineslovescats 5
Well at least you are extremely polite! It's too bad that air freshener took advantage of your politeness though.
capper44 18
Exactly... But seriously OP YDI :D
chubby_choco 17
90, how the hell does OP deserve it? For being polite? Okay, they made a goofy mistake, but at least they showed manners...
crazydog1223 4
What a selfish air freshener... it didnt even say thanks...
ImInYourFACEbook 8
I know! Doesn't that stink?.....wait a minute.
fmessiah 19
Being polite! Don't you hate it when you are about to sneeze and then... nothing! Your eyes water, your nose tingles and feels weird, you are about to continue what you were doing and then bang, sneak attack!
annagilbert 6
even if it was someone sneezing, it'd be weird for you to say that while you're on the crapper.
rashadmahmoud 4
YDI
MaceFaceLOL 8
Please explain why this person deserves it.
ALpein 0
Obviously they deserved it because being polite in any way is a crime. Especially when said on the internet.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Thank you. Oh wait...Nvm