Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know why they never said thank you!!
cumatmebro 0
Technology. iI's getting quite polite these days.
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Comments (133)
desireev 18
Good job, OP! You being polite and keeping that positive attitude will get you places one day! Even if you're only polite to inanimate objects that take batteries! :)
AllSoul 23
My mom sneezes like an elephant... No joke. Every time I go and visit her and she sneezes, it almost causes me to have a heartattack. You're very polite OP, I couldn't see myself saying "Bless you" while I'm doing my buisness.
loserman67 36
Good for you for being polite, the world needs more polite people! But when you're on the throne in a public restroom, the "observed" rule is silence. It's weird when a stranger talks to you from their stall, at least I think so. One question, what did you eat the night before that made your farts set off the air freshner three times? Bean dip? Broccoli fest? Hard-boiled eggs and beer?
whitperky 0
It serves you right. I hate it when people say bless you when I sneeze at all. God already blessed me with life, I'm not gonna die from a sneeze.
Nightvenom 0
I believe one of the reason people say bless you is because every time you sneeze you heart stops beating for a short period of time. ( might be an old wives tale not sure) but if it's true. I will take and give all the Bless you's I can I mean come on my heart stopped beating for a second. Achoo*
mandy_alexandra 0
Now that's effing funny!!
karmicsamadi86 9
I once bumped into a column in the grocery and said, " Excuse me" before I realized it wasn't a person.
surfnshred 2
Your breath probably smelled so bad it had to freshen the air every time you spoke
lydialaughs 0
Lmao!!!
StromyG2 10
Those things REALLY do sound like a sneeze. I've done that.
YouSlutt 0
I swear I thought you were gonna say, It was actually someone taking a dump ! Lmao not the dryer thing. hah