Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
shortmomma88 0
ouchies!
applesmoothiee 2
If it was still unused then the OP wouldn't have written the FML
stone_light 0
Brian what is this? my poop well what's it doing on the front yard? oh my gosh gotta sneeze gotta sneeze *choo*..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!1
AnalProbe 0
So that was YOUR excuse for having poo on your face when you came back from the bathroom. What was the other guy's excuse?
Mustardnight 3
Dirty. Sanchez.
im_asian 0
what a dirty mouth
superbadd 0
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
jessxoxo28 5
agreed =S
laxgirl3 0
totally! but sooo funny! YDI 4 not letting go!
MajesticKing 0
Dirty Boy
plum_lovin 28
Dude, I seriously gagged.
nabee26 15
That is f'ing disgusting!
simawesome_FYL 0
YAS !
depleetme 0
ahahahahahahahahaha ew
elishaax 0
eww D: FYL
Roseicat 16
HAHA!!!! thats nasty :L
Compass 0
Eh, you deserve it. Even I dont cover my mouth when I sneeze in private away from things that people will touch without washing their hands afterwards. And you need to improve your sneezing habits. Sneeze into your arm/shoulder.
him51772 0
Ya except its not necessary to immediately wash yur shoulder/arm all the time whereas if yur at work in any kind of food place your hands are not an option, and tissues rarely are either. Washing is also not always 100% effective as most ppl rush through it to get on with their day, therefore i must disagree with you and say yur wrong
tlw33 0
Are you saying it's better to sneeze into a poopy piece of toilet paper than to sneeze on the wall? Cause that's just nasty!
htownlove 0
I hate people like u that give a whole lesson on a comment. trust me, no one cares!! go be a smartass somewhere else. I'm proven to be gifted and talented but I don't be showin it off
laxgirl3 0
same!it gets really annoying! and that makes the comments sooo friggin loonnnggg!
Jiplo 18
161- if you don't care, just ignore it.
marycharles 0
grossy!
Aceage 0
Or if your one of the girls from 2 girls 1 cup, "YUM!"
sexpanther10 0
how do you extinctively do that use your other hand or something
floon_fml 13
Instinctively.... Just saying. Your comment made no sense. :)