Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know why they never said thank you!!
cumatmebro 0
Technology. iI's getting quite polite these days.
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Comments (133)
ifeelya 5
this is an old FML.
Track1991 0
Haha good times. At least it smells good.
kombucha_fml 8
sometimes this "bless you" thing is boring me.
stephc12 0
Why were you in the bathroom so long?
cobraohm 0
Lol
BalletGirl16 0
Haha silly, but don't worry, when I hear an air freshener go off I actually get scared until I realize what it is XD
TylerDirty 15
xD that's funny, but I can see how you could mistake that.
kei1108 13
At least you're polite! ... How long were you in there?!
DinosaurTacoTime 18
I wrote this FML for her. She did have an upset stomach that day and it happened in the school's bathroom. The air freshener went off every 5 minutes. She also has brown hair so she is not blonde. Just in case someone goes through the comments like I enjoy doing.
ikilledaman 9
Lol, FYL. But seriously, if I were to turn this into a blonde joke or something, I'm sure it would get a good laugh xD.