Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Gross!
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
No laugh track required
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Say it, don't spray it
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Both ends
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know why they never said thank you!!
cumatmebro 0
Technology. iI's getting quite polite these days.
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Comments (133)
joanna_the_broke 3
How long have you had to be on the toilet for it to "sneeze" 3x. It usually like 10 minutes between each spray.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Not every air freshener is like the one in your cat room.=[
joanna_the_broke 3
I'm assuming she's in a public restroom and those places like to be economical. The shortest time I've seen a public restroom spray is probably 5 minutes.
MaceFaceLOL 8
You time the air fresheners? O_o
joanna_the_broke 3
I have a job. My time is timed for me, and since I would be cleaning the bathroom, I wouldn't want to be wearing a watch and I'm not allowed my phone on me because I don't want to lose my job; I would keep time to the air freshener.
MaceFaceLOL 8
You can't bring your phone? That sounds like you are lying O_O jobs can't say you can't bring a phone. What happens when you trip and fall and can't walk?
joanna_the_broke 3
Awwww, I was going to say ydi cause most jobs don't allow you to have phones, but then I found out you're only 15 and probably have never had a real job. That's ok. Your ignorance is forgiven. May it be as blissful as you make it sound.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Trolololol are you retarded you can get a work permit at 15 1/2 and since you stalked my profile I see you can see that I was born in march.
rubberduckie94 13
Sorry Joanna I met to thumb you up and accidentally hit thumb down. no at fifteen they would not understand that most jobs do have a NO phone rule.
rubberduckie94 13
40 go home just go home I mean I don't know if you realize how dumb you sound. You are proving are point about you not having a real job by your comments. Me and nobody I know can have their phone on them at work. Yes you can get a work permit, but cons repercussions as a grown person effects person more
GoW_Chick 15
I can have my phone at both my jobs, I just have to turn off the ringer and can't be on it 24/7, obviously, it just depends on where you work and your boss' ideas about cellular devices in the workplace.
joanna_the_broke 3
Awww, you're still counting in fractions. If it makes you feel better I'm 21 and 1/2. It also depends on the state you live in. It has been a long time since I've had to fill one of those out. But I digress, do you have a real job then? I have 3 jobs, 2 retail and one volunteer, and none of them let me use my phone. So go to school and check if your teachers pull their phones out often.
desireev 18
I'm not allowed to have my phone. :( My iPhone is my life-line. It sucks having to put it away for 8 hours..
joanna_the_broke 3
That's ok rubberducky, I'm new to commenting and if I have to deal with morons all day, I'll be getting thumbs up in no time.
GoW_Chick 15
Why yes I do have real jobs, and I'm 20, I work at a daycare from 7am to 5pm, then I go home for an hour or two then go work at a bar from 8pm till the owner decides to close, they both allow me to have my phone, got to make that paper, and I haven't been to school for about 2yrs because I can't afford college at this time. Still want to try and feel better about yourself by making petty childish insults?
desireev 18
I'm not getting in on this argument, but I've been able to work since I was 14. It's not impossible to get a job under the age of 16. Of course, my job wasn't a good job. I worked at a restaurant called 'Taco Bobs' and I was a bus-girl. I'm just saying that it's not impossible to get a job under the age of 16. Let's all calm down and lower the level of hostility. :)
MaceFaceLOL 8
My teachers have their phones out all the time...I'm done with you. ;)
joanna_the_broke 3
Gow_ chick, how are you allowed a phone with little kids around? I hope you're just a receptionist. I work at a daycare too and the amount of mischief kids get into when you're busy with another is insurmountable. I can't even imagine having a phone out, just because the mess that is involved with kids, let alone checking my facebook.
joanna_the_broke 3
@desireev I had a job at 15 also but it was under the table so if I could afford a phone to play with, I would have been playing "snakes" on it.
desireev 18
Joanna- It's not very nice to question someone else about the validity of what they say. In fact, it's quite rude and looked down upon. Just because you're not allowed to have your phone doesn't mean that other people aren't allowed to and it definitely doesn't mean you can shun them for it. It sucks that you can't have your phone, but don't start questioning someone about their life and making insinuating comments just because they can have their phone in their workplace and you can't.
GoW_Chick 15
Sweetie I don't look at my phone when I'm working, and I don't even have a Facebook account, I'm not much for all that bull, I have it on me for emergencies or when a parent wants to call me to see how their kid is doing because I know most of the parents and they like to know their little one is doing okay. I know how involved you have to be when looking after kids, I've worked there for 2yrs, and have common sense, you don't know me, so stop making assumptions just because you didn't like my input on the subject.
desireev 18
Joanna- I wasn't saying anything about phones. I was simply stating that it's not impossible to get a job under the age of 16. Why are you being so defensive and creating hostility? It's just a comment thread and people are allowed to comment on it and say whatever they want to.
AllSoul 23
I have two 'real' jobs too, and I'm allowed my phone on me. And good for her if she has a job at 15, most 15 year olds couldn't give a flying monkey and just gets pocket money. I don't know why you're attacking her cause she's young, it may not be a real job but atleast she's trying. And, I don't know where she lives (no, I couldn't be bothered to check out their profile) but I know in France you can get a job at 15, or 14 can't quite remember, and it is a proper job.
AllSoul 23
Sorry, I said "her", I got confused. :/
MaceFaceLOL 8
I am not "counting in fractions m-as. $.
MaceFaceLOL 8
Typo accidental mashed my phone. I'm not counting in fractions. 1 year = 12 months 1/2 year = 6 understand?
Katastrophe101 8
76- I believe you're supposed to say "I'm 186 months old." Why don't we all get over the pissing contest. Every place is different. Let's just except it and move on.
desireev 18
Accept**
Katastrophe101 8
Thanks. I knew that didn't look right. :)
desireev 18
No problem darlin! I thought I'd help you before the Grammar Nazis got you.
jerseyboy732 16
how could you mistake an automatic air freshener for a sneeze?
MaceFaceLOL 8
An air freshener makes a "Tsss" sound kinda like a person who holds their sneezes in.
starkes 0
Lol I bet you feel sick! :p
reebokah27 5
At least you were being nice
babydiamond_fml 9
Hehehehehe hehehehe!
Xcherrypie 16
You are such a gentlewoman :)
pittpsu75 0
"Bless you and you're batteries."
iseyixes 18
Thank you for the laugh. This one was funny
poleybear 3
Hahahaha Dumbasss!!!
reldnahceus 8
At least your polite. :)