Anonymous
United States
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
eggs
Canada
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Laura
United States
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Rizmo
Cedar City, United States
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
Amy
United States
Not now, Kelsey
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Eggs
Port Richey, United States
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
not a shitty situation so fuck you
San Francisco, United States
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
poopshooter101
United States
Volcanic
Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML
Anonymous
Denmark
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Top comments
MyMuse7 0
I would have pelted them with my shit
amerwin 3
I would've scrambled out of their as quickly as possible.
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Comments (222)
jigglydibs 0
wow that sucks
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, lesson learned....bad shit happens when you use public restrooms.....
arandomer 0
that's why you shouldn't ....
GreatGeak 8
lol wiseguy wins for his AWESOME pun.
mintcar 10
That pun wasn't AWESOME.
VorpikeII 17
no your right it was only awesome!!!!!!
adhdkid411 0
HAHA I'm gonna do this :D
Finn_the_human 5
That stinks
mfjkr 10
this isn't a yolk
abbi96x 0
Waaaait. How on earth can kids break down a door?! Ninjas..
litlpetlvr 0
at least it will be a funny story...
Oh_No_A_Troll 0
Damn those ninjas!
ganja_warrior88 0
bet it was OFWGKTA
every1luvsvag 10
Depending on what area of South Carolina you are from, that may have been me.
amerwin 3
I would've scrambled out of their as quickly as possible.
bloobelly 0
Hahah scrambled eggs
amerwin 3
there* Heyyy, you got it.
Heather_x0x0 6
LOL!!! so silly!
ifiFaLL 1
i see what you did there!
Michele2luv 8
haha I totally lol'd when I read this
Jonny_Trump 0
This sure made me crack up. You sure you didn't poach this one from the Internet?
rallets 23
wow, i didnt egg-spect that
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
I also see what you did there
womanjesus 0
76 nice one
esu 5
eggsactly what I thought
Insane_Tea 15
Wow such egg-citement! There are so many egg-treme and egg-o-tistical people in this world that egg-sactly this kind of situation seems to scramble out of nowhere and crack open a world of yolks.
fuzzypeachnation 4
This is cracking me up, Benedict style.
ichikibobivopula 0
grammar nazi says: "I would have scrambled out of THERE..."
rocketeer_97 1
128- he fixed it so stfu, kay ? thanks(:
Jonkbaby 23
something tells me he got out overhard rather than overeasy. because you can only hope your day will be sunny side up before it gets poached. then he will be hard-boiled!
DisappearingRose 18
If I were a guy I would pee on them with my long penis.
lalagurl11 6
I wanna suck your **** I bet it's real big.... I want you to **** my pussy hard...... Cuz I'm horny babe
HeJustKnowsBest 3
Sounds like you've had a pretty egg-citing day.
natas_fml 13
I didn't hit her, I did not ...ohai mark!
HeJustKnowsBest 3
You are TEARING me apart Lisa!
jordypaige11 0
haha!!!!
poiuytjfffc 0
shut ragtag blows
ovechkinisbeast 9
sounds like you made a very shit-ty comment.
HeJustKnowsBest 3
#156: I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I cant shove my head that far up my ass.
commodore350 0
win ^
thehillhaseyes8 2
that was the cheesiest ******* joke ive ever heard...
brins_fml 0
if there was a like button
brins_fml 0
I meant to say, if there was a like button for that comment, I'd press it
tacticalnutmeg 0
169 hahahaha nice one.
riddence 0
Now thats what I call a SHITTY SITUATION : )
bloobelly 0
*cough
Tuesdays76 0
Eggsactly what i was thinking.
VorpikeII 17
egg-cellent pun. I hope you don't tuen into an egghead though!
VorpikeII 17
I mean turn not tuen. sorry.
litlpetlvr 0
this is on EVERY FML that has to do with shit...
JojoChuo 8
More like a stinkin' situation.
ubetrwatchBN 5
*crickets*
felipe87 2
wishing you a happy Easter?
ChantelRenaeee 0
oh, op. unless you washed it off, it would STINK!!!!! sucks for you.
crazykidd15 0
yes! that's what they were doing . haha
MyMuse7 0
I would have pelted them with my shit
bloobelly 0
you would've reached into the toilet and actually picked it up? :o
ThatLooksSticky 16
No. He would have shit into his hand, then tossed it at the kids. Like monkeys do.
Aim4thebullseye 4
or simply stuff their heads in the Rolodex or shit right on their heads
jadenstigman 0
projectile turds
Aim4thebullseye 4
toilet .... GTFO autocorrect
bloobelly 0
hahaha what's a Rolodex?
zachattack7731 4
I would have done the same thing HAH
xo_kat_xo 0
xD that's funny!!!
exotramp 5
lmao
starah_fml 0
lol you must be super young!
misfitSuperStar 0
79....projectile!!! I lol'd!!! awesome
mollyslips 13
whoa!!
blakesaurus 0
you'll laugh about it later?
pitchblease 2
those kids are the most BAMF eggers ever. kicking a door down, must have been epic. you should have tried to pee on them.
WinMan 7
thanks. but i cant take credit for the idea. that dylans idea.
blueglue 0
who takes ***** in public bathrooms ? ydi
Grimmerie 31
who ***** at all? i never have and never will.
ifiFaLL 1
azns must not shit. too ninja
suprmidgt 0
the public. some people don't have the luxury of a regular bowel.
bakapyon 0
people who have to take a dump
ichikibobivopula 0
wow 17s smart
Lindseyjustdance 0
No 17 is not smart, he's constipated.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
74 do u mean toilet?
germanottapearl 0
ha win.
xxrogerthatxx 19
sometimes, people have no other choice, I was homeless for a period of time...
MrGold 0
Should have thrown your huevos at them.