Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
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Top comments
doc_j 0
yeah i got nothin funny for this one. op that sucks man. wait WTF who buys someone a bag of apples?
killgrace666 0
haha that would have been an interesting sight
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Comments (138)
sweetcheeksjvl 0
boo
TinyDude 10
should have bought them rat poison instead.
Tuesdays76 0
Or just cigarettes. Same diff.
TinyDude 10
they would prolly eat the tabacco inside and still chase op for more. rat poison will shut them up.
iRiS890 5
Do you honestly think they'd be dumb enough to eat rat poison? That's your brilliant idea? Even if they couldn't read I'm pretty sure it's not that appealing and OP would have been worse off.
GreatGeak 8
I think karma will hunt you all down for poisoning homeless people. as for op, she did her good deed.
iRiS890 5
I'm not suggesting that we poison them I just think this guy is delusional if he thinks that plan would work.
HowardTheDuck 0
he was just joking...
khaya 9
Do not give a homeless man rat poison it will only make him stronger, Trust me I know.......
iRiS890 5
Jokes are usually better if you put some thought into them. If he had said something about disguising it is some fashion or made it sound the least bit amusing then perhaps someone might have lol'd. j/s
prince122 0
tinydude ur so racist just caus ur Asian don't mean u call ur self tiny.
mmmMcGangbang 0
61 lol WTF? it's not like he called himself a zipperhead
rallets 23
wow that really stemmed out of nowhere and went right to the core
Joshwarrior 39
lmao 29 it took me a few minutes too
Finn_the_human 5
Sounds like fun! Thats all you have to do to start fights? I'm going to use this method.
maskedman 9
People, PEOPLE! Why are we debating about this? Obviously, you put the rat poison in the cigarettes, or in the apples. Duh.
PassTheDutch 0
iRiS890. I'll kick your ass in cod. lol haha
ifyouseekamy666 0
did the homeless man spontaniously multiply when op bought the apples? omg they're magical apples!
Soloman212 28
"Sitting with two others..."
iRiS890 5
Impossible! I simply do not lose :) I usually only play HC S&D or HCTDM. MW2 is where it's at, I very rarely put in Black Ops.
PassTheDutch 0
haha. ya true. all I play is headquarters or tdm. and mw2 is way better than black ops. I couldn't agree more. but I play both.
iRiS890 5
Headquarters makes me mad because people just camp to get kills and don't even bother with the objectives.
PassTheDutch 0
ya that's really gay. I'm not one of those people/noobs lol. I hate that shit. I haven't played in awhile so I probably suck but we should play some time. and I kno you're not suppose to talk on the comments but I'm on my phone for now lol.
freddyisepic 2
give me the gamertags, your both going down ;)
snowbird123 3
black ops sucks
erick0619 0
you buy the apples some syringes and the cyanide you inject the cyanide into the apples now they will eat it problem solved
killgrace666 0
haha that would have been an interesting sight
iZDa 0
ur moms an interesting sight
DaZi 0
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DaZi 0
**** u u piece of shit moderator
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, idk homeless people took their apples so seriously.....
RyDawg918 0
shut up
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha ****** okies.....^
RyDawg918 0
yep
enonymous 9
I pictured Tyrone Biggums from chapelles show when I read this. because we all know we can score for $10-15 which we can take from our moms purse, take the L train down to west 45th and meet up with Carlos and we all know Carlos' shit is da bomb.
PSQ91 6
LMAO and all the kids are taking notes xD
mamamiaaa_fml 12
haha I miss that show
raven02 0
ass u could of bought them a dllr burger each at McDonalds if u wanted to do a good deed...apples are hard to chew and if they are homeless their teeth are probably not strong
bloobelly 0
hahahah I laugh
andres19 0
next time bring a camera and start a homeless fighting league
harrymcshabsstic 0
19# it's called bumfights
ChantelRenaeee 0
oh god. homeless people are ungrateful bastards.
doc_j 0
yeah i got nothin funny for this one. op that sucks man. wait WTF who buys someone a bag of apples?
Heather_x0x0 6
LOL!! that's what I was wondering!! OP, what the hell?!??!
Jonny_Trump 0
Maybe there were apples nearby?
FreebirdIII 1
at least apples last a while, and in a sock make a good beat down tool.
A100893 30
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
mcgugs 0
^only if you throw them at him.
FunnyGuy5051 7
^win
sweetkitty26 0
I seriously thought that since op was strange enough to buy apples (apples, WTF op?!) that the homeless people would throw them at op
anniekay123 0
trying to do WELL** yeesh op, get it right
reaver24 0
op was trying to do her good deed for the day, so in that sense her grammar is correct.
HappyCynic 0
I sense sarcasm 35. XD
xo_kat_xo 0
uhh I'm pretty sure her grammar was right and yours was wrong. (sorry if I'm wrong in any way)
KiddNYC1O 22
8- You failing hypocrite. Before correcting someone, which you didn't, learn to capitalize and punctuate your sentences.
JurassicHole 5
8- "Trying to do a well deed" isn't grammatically correct, OP's grammar is fine you reject of a grammar nazi.
muchagente 5
well this is easy. you should have given them to the right one.
Soloman212 28
Exactly what I was thinking!!! OP is retarded...
nuhuh 1
All homeless guys look the same?
jordanprodigy023 0
Goddamn ravages!! Feel bad though
Grimmerie 31
gorram reavers.
Yung23 0
hahaha this I's quit the laugh
musicfreak9821 6
took me five minutes to figure out what that read...
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm going for a swim on your head.
Tuesdays76 0
I hate it when that happens.