Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML
Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
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Top comments
A7X_LoVeee 10
I guess you could say...you scared the shit out of her!
futtbuck101 1
That's a shitty situ- *shot in the face*
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Comments (128)
A7X_LoVeee 10
I guess you could say...you scared the shit out of her!
landonlasater 3
is that a lawsuit I smell or is it just your shit
futtbuck101 1
That's a shitty situ- *shot in the face*
Frosc 0
Or showering...
kingtz 6
Or masturbating in the shower.
Trololololololo_fml 7
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHH!!!!!!
dolphincheddar 10
that reminds me of this Porno I saw once. except after she punched him they had kinky interracial bathroom sex
DoubleRainbows 1
only one thing to do: FALCON PUUNCH!!!
princessRiRi97 0
Were you crapping with the lights off?
BShady96 0
maid:"excuse me, i clean bathroom" OP:"No! im using it" maid:"no, no.. i clean bathroom" OP:"not right now i'm taking a shit!!" maid:"no, no... i come in now... WHAT THE ****??"
tuckriggs 0
I would have maid her suck my balla
LOLbomb 1
If the lock to any door is broken then it's a shitty hotel.
zimandme123 0
hahaha .... a shitty hotel...
bobos_fml 0
lol'd
Deroni76 5
Oh SHIT!
valekseye 0
No, I think it's safe to say she punched the shit out of him!
toqwert 0
hahahaha
Janawa 22
A7X-Loveee you should have said it like this- guess you could say you ..(puts sunglasses on) scarred the shit outta her... YYYEEEAAAHHH
dlToTlb 10
or she scared the shit out of him
bansheebomber 14
Argh, I hate when that happens. What a crappy day.
gwadafiesta_fml 2
She was just afraid he went all-DSK on her
volley4eva1698 0
yeah that happens to me all the time
sarahxD1234 5
I promise you that has NEVER happened to me ...
browntiga 0
daily occurrence?
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
wooow, sue her, she cant just punch u, or tell management ;D
Zeek63 0
it could have been worse if you were yanking your tank! if you know what I mean...
Mitcha857 0
and somehow Laurence, with a name like that and how you said "the states" I knew you were not from the USA. hmmmmmmmm
MrSassypants 34
26 from your comment I can tell your from the states... also before you check my profile... so am I.
xxlauruh 0
I'm only from one state.
xxlauruh 0
amuuurica, **** YEAHH.
Bano360 25
All Americans resort to suing, what is it with you guys and suing?
allanaskye 0
No we don't. just the dumb assholes who can't make their own money so they have to take someone else's and give us good people a bad name.
1215116a 14
At 66, that's like me telling saying 'Why do all Irish people resort to drinking?'
Epilepsy_fml 0
I like how the guy who said that Americans are sue happy got thumbed down. Haha! We can't even laugh at ourselves! this is extremely pathetic. Suing is completely unnecessary 3/4 of the time.
xxlauruh 0
I'm suing all of you.
jbo116 0
88 - I'm suing you for suing all of them!
XxToriwolfxX 0
I will kill all of the lawyers in the world.
thatonename 7
111. please and thank you
sup_bitch 0
what they need more lemon pledge and she thought you were stealing it
swittig 0
giggity giggity consuela giggity
IWarnedYou 0
no no, mr superman no here
instnt1nfction 17
ci senior
berryblue 0
did she hurt you??? if she did sue!
MrSassypants 34
5 no because OP can't get hurt with a punch to the face. Nobody can. Obviously OP did get hurt because if OP didn't then there would be no point in writing this FML. Sorry to insult you but I guess teachers lied when they said there is no such thing as a stupid question.
IHATETROLLSS 0
are you dumb? people have died from a punch to the face (not from a maid.. but you get the picture)
XxToriwolfxX 0
God damn falcon punches, they're killing all of us!
browntiga 0
I think being assaulted in a place of business by an employee is enough to sue the business. if you go to a hotel would you be alright if the cleaning crew punched you in the face?
luvppl 6
well maybe she couldn't tell what gender so she thought you were an alien
A7X_LoVeee 10
Was that meant to be funny..?
luvppl 6
not really but it's not a serious comment either soooo......
MrSassypants 34
12 it's not serious? DANG IT! I took it to the heart...
starwarsguy330 0
obvious troll is obvious
luvppl 6
47- lolol :) I like you... you are nice 56- no I'm not a troll but I just tried to avoid insults from people, because I saw it coming when he asked me if I was trying to be funny... I do apologize if you don't like me I'll try better next time to please you
MrSassypants 34
56 where? 8)
luvppl 6
wow I have always loved your comments and versatile name mr sassy pants, but now you are one of my favorites on here...
maz_irken 6
Him an Snickerdoodle are mine!
MrSassypants 34
I guess I am taken by 77... by force... No please! Not there!
tettles 0
you should've busted a cap on her
Ryley1 0
*Nut*
Jimmyd0t 0
in her*
muchagente 5
nice try, dominic.
yulenne_fml 7
Haha I was waiting for someone to say that
taytoc 10
I hope u weren't in the middle of the shit/fell off the toilet.. then she woulda seen some nice smelly arse
jake3292 5
well tell the manager what happend and you might get a free night:)
XxToriwolfxX 0
With free service..