Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
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Top comments
Glam_fml 0
Eh, she'll get over it. I am sure her shit stinks too.
Outpail 1
That's the most awesome thing I've read all day.
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Comments (159)
Glam_fml 0
Eh, she'll get over it. I am sure her shit stinks too.
Saucy_sassy 0
Lmfao
Xero3g 5
I did this to my cousin once.
RoryStorm239 0
^ WIN/FAIL
fertie226 1
definietly had to add this to my favorites!! haha
iLoveTeraaa 0
bobnorris 0
you killed my nose through the Internet. ow ow ow
HondaGirl2010 0
LOL that is unfortunate!
xiar 0
her nostrils probably started stinging haha
abbylovesdahlia 0
ownt
lolzforfun228 3
Comment win.
ZleveL 0
owned*
mrbeastmode 0
^ its owned in russiam dumbass
TheFadedGuitar 0
LOL XD
Outpail 1
That's the most awesome thing I've read all day.
genius_man16 1
seconded. I literally rofl'd well, i was on my bed, but you get the point PS- this would seem an appropriate time to say "shit happens"
lalalaurraa 0
i see what you did therreee!
awdorable 0
#48- You win the funniest comment award! Shit happens, that is gold, stinky, brown gold, but gold! lol
FKARYSL 0
LOL! definitely.
kristen_lesli 0
I totally agree! xD Kudos for funniest comment of the year award! xD You own, #48! xD
Lone_Wolf_099 5
Made me laugh so hard I had to waddle to the bathroom myself.
MelKel 0
"I know you like to think your shit don't stink but lean a little closer you'll see that roses really smell like pooo!"
chiodosluvr 0
LMAO! xP kids say tha darnest thingsss. but that mustve been pretty bad.
missmurderx 8
chiodos YES :D
ajscw 0
Haha favorited
UFCFIGHTER 0
Nice
dinosaursmoo 0
What /is/ that?!
alexgisforme3 0
lol OMG haha. thats so embarassing...i wouldnt want to be seen by those people LOL