Miss Miami, USA 30 years-old Single
Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
