Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
I'm not sure what is worse... having a hard boiled egg thrown at you or raw eggs.
Sandman1917 5
I hope you got the plate number. That's assault and inexcusable.
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Comments (94)
Mauskau 36
I'm not sure what is worse... having a hard boiled egg thrown at you or raw eggs.
strawberrywine22 30
Personally, I'd rather have to clean up a mess than suffer the pain.
mercifulbane 3
how do you just fall? and if you fell from an egg...im not saying you deserved it, but you are a pansy, AND the fact that you stayed, seriously? waited for the feelings in your legs? you feel and a egg hit you...lame! NOW BRING ON THE NEGATIVE THUMBS!!!!
beachchick101 13
Eggs suck
Xivion 19
mythbusters! xD
NoShit_Sherly 11
I'm not sure what's worse.. having a hard boiled egg chucked at you, or having a hard boiled egg chucked at you by a speeding car
\ 28
And when you throw something from a moving object, the speed of the object gets added to whatever you're throwing.... Ow.
DKjazz 20
What about a frozen egg? Or maybe a frozen hard-boiled egg?
dawnimus 21
#15 I think it depends on where you are. I'd rather the raw egg if I was close to home and could go clean up easily, but if I had a long journey ahead or was on my way to something important I'd definitely take the pain.
griggypop 4
Even uncooked eggs sting when whipped fast (like say...from a speeding car)
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#15 yeah, 'cause then at least you could say that the yolk's on you!
thecrazymancan 17
relatively speaking of course.
annihil8or 15
@#42 Just for repeating #1's comment, I would throw both types at you.
blinked_281 29
I hate it when that happens :/
strawberrywine22 30
Does it happen to you often...?
sarcasticlover 30
So how often do people to it to you?
SgtAssCheeks 21
Sounds like you're saying this from experience there, gal...
neeni88 23
Oh my god, people!! She was being sarcastic obviously!!
iknowiwantyou 13
being sarcastic while typing can be quite difficult and many are not able to pull it off. there are specific details that must be paid attention to. For instance, the fact that 2 put ":/" makes it seem like it actually does happen to her often, but if she left it out then her comment would have come off as sarcastic. Just putting that out there for the idiots that say something and then say that they were actually being sarcastic when in fact it didn't come off that way.
neeni88 23
Oh come on, I'm pretty sure it isn't everyday that people get hard boiled eggs thrown at them. THAT was the indicator (at least for me) that it was sarcasm.
Linda_zlk 12
I get the third floor ....Sofa...
strawberrywine22 30
Um. What?
Linda_zlk 12
Hahaha.....In China ,We call it "Sofa " if I am the first person to reply or comment it . It means I will stay here and keep watching on other persons's reply ...
Mirorbo 27
...wot.
Alicestraza 33
China's version of "first" is just as annoying as what is normally used.
trulypar 34
Well in the US if your third we call it sloppy thirds...so congrats.
LennyComa 39
Hard Boiled Eggs? Life is wasted on some people.
SlapAndTickle 20
That's when you find a nice rock to break a window.
griggypop 4
Do you mean like the poor chickens life being wasted on op? Lol
griggypop 4
Dammit, that was supposed to be in response to #4
Sandman1917 5
I hope you got the plate number. That's assault and inexcusable.
buckdharma 38
They'd probably just escape from a medium security prison and remain at large.
Mirorbo 27
*ineggscusable You had an opportunity and you missed it!
radmuffin 12
Is it weird that I read #6's "inexcusable" as "ineggscusable" in my read before I saw your comment? My brain saw the opportunity for eggs-cellence and took it.
fuckyourlifeOP 25
24 missed his chance with "eggscape"
strawberrywine22 30
Pick them up and throw them back!
xkore787 14
Ah, that wonderful feeling of a hard-boiled egg giving you a dead leg...damn that'd have to have killed OP, that sucks
DenBriZel 31
Well that's rotten luck.
SimplyBird 9
No they were boiled. It's boiled luck.
Soundslikeothers 15
Okay, I've never had hard boiled eggs thrown at me, but I've fallen down a few times in my life. Not once did I lose feeling in my legs after said fall. So there has to be more going on here.
RoboCunnilingus 23
The first thing you said was that you've never had hard boiled eggs thrown at you, so what exactly do you think you're missing?
Missyeru 14
That's what I was thinking, I even have a scar on my knee from falling down, and I didn't loose feeling.
strawberrywine22 30
Hard boiled eggs are effing painful. It's an agony you can't understand until you've been there.
Missyeru 14
Is it worse than a paintball not exploding when I hits you?
epodax 12
The thing you people don't realise is that there is a difference between falling and having a object thrown at you at high speed, the faster the object hits you the harder it will hit, that goes for everything.
SlapAndTickle 20
Re-read the FML numb nuts.
Ilmoran 20
It wasn't the fall that made her lose feeling, it was the high speed, hard boiled egg that hit her in the ass. A hard enough hit to areas leading to extremities can cause loss of feeling in said extremities.
Setareh23 34
The faster the car is, the harder the egg will hit. If the car was speeding by, it would hurt a lot. I've had a friend get hit by an egg thrown from a car and she had a HUGE ass bruise. Do not underestimate eggings.