Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML
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Top comments
pieisyourdrug 0
... Your dad is a dick.
Snazaza 0
thats exactly like my mom lol. i broke my thumb riding a bike and she spent 45 mins in front of the mirror doing her makeup because she refuses to leave the house without looking nice. :l
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Comments (140)
no1askdu 5
he just wants to pick up hot hospital chicks... who rides a scooter anymore anyways?
Iloveyencheck 0
that's excatly what I was thinking Who still rides scooters?
sarcasm_ftw 0
YDI for feeling pain
pchands00 0
YDI for riding scooters
bbobe900000 0
scooters are sick. don't hate
aaaaa12345_fml 0
also, who the **** has a scooter accident and needs to go to the hospital. it was probably just bruised
Kwenami 5
My dad did the same thing, ironing a dress shirt and wearing a suit. My mom was in labour with my brother.
crumblemumble 0
whoa whoa whoa, scooters hurt . I've heard of a girl who broke BOTH her arms in a scooter accident cuz it went ape shit and she fell in a ditch or something. just saying.
xander2347 0
lmfao, a scooter accident
WeeGee_fml 0
ydi for 1. being a wimp it's a ******* scooter 2. not drawing a mustache and beard on your dad that night 3. not telling every chick in that hospital your dad is gay grow a pair and
chessdude 8
He has a wife?
pieisyourdrug 0
... Your dad is a dick.
gamerhead 3
who smells good and looks nice lol
Snazaza 0
thats exactly like my mom lol. i broke my thumb riding a bike and she spent 45 mins in front of the mirror doing her makeup because she refuses to leave the house without looking nice. :l
emilysanftwsom 0
Fail parenting.
yukari_fml 0
Never thought of a man doing that!
allmidnighteyes 11
Wait, you hurt your arm riding a SCOOTER? ****, I haven't had one of those since like, fifth grade. I needs to buy me a Razr.
doodlebug93 0
lol. I broke my arm riding a scooter. I was nine and I hit a crack in the sidewalk while going pretty fast. oh, and I chipped my tooth when my face hit the sidewalk.
Action_Batch 0
Your dad is a dick and you ride a scooter. Time to run away.
NGM_47 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad" lol. I haven't had any injuries that serious that I'd go to the hospital, but I'm pretty sure a 'normal' dad would tell their son to man up cause they don't want to pay hospital bills or deal with the insurance.
Blue_Coconuts 7
Unless they have accident insurance then they get paid...
SaintJimmy 0
My dad yells at me when I want to go to a doctor. He says I'm to expensive.
doomking10 0
YDI. Your dad just wanted some poon and you had to be a little bitch about it. How he must feel for having such a loser little girl for a son.
no1askdu 5
agreed lol
smlz4me 1
u 2 are assholeian bitches.
definatelywierd 0
Don't hesitate to scoot yourself away after you've healed up