Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
greenie213 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
hunterfisher98 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
emeraldisle 30
At least you realised what was wrong as soon as it happened.
lowie89 7
Umm therapy maybe? You sound a little disturbed!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Really? I've always thought that I sounded a little Three Days Grace.
Kiki242 19
I see what you did there.
Bluekaren16 19
I don't think he needs therapy. When guys get boners it doesn't necessarily mean it was caused by something that sexually excites them.
Dixbfloppin 11
OP doesn't need therapy, he needs a girlfriend.
perdix 31
You listen to too much ZZ Top? Let's hope your parents don't travel to Boston and dine on pancakes.
perdix 31
WTF? Don't you people know that ZZ Top has a song called "Pearl Necklace?"
nahbean13 3
I've got your back, Perdix. What you witnessed right there was further evidence that good music has died to most of this generation.
jizzwold 21
"gahh I don't understand this reference so I must thumb it down!" - the fml community
DeadPixel4 29
That is clever yet disgusting.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't think you were visualizing pearls that go around your neck. If you know what I mean.
FUUUandyourmom 16
We know.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hey, some people are idiots. Plus it was a meme ref.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It was a meme reference.
Jaxx66 21
Great deduction, Watson!
s0m3guy2010 21
You could have an Oedipus complex, or you could just be the average teenager who pops a boner sometimes for no reason.
zephyrnok 9
They say a man thinks about sex every 7 seconds.
greenie213 23
I think it's a little but more for me...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
That statistic has been proven wrong already.
unknown_user5566 27
Now I'm curious how often men think about having sex with their mothers.
Leslier_fml 4
You are right, what the hell is wrong with you?
Tempest559 12
Maybe it's time to cut back on the **** bro.
unknown_user5566 27
Maybe Freud was onto something... Immediately after visualizing the scene, did you have an urge to kill your father and replace him as the head of the household as well?
KiddNYC1O 22
Ah, what's the word that??
Kiki242 19
I think it's about time for someone to see a psychologist.