Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
girlofwords 3
I honestly would not marry him D:
Breezy4sheezy 2
Next time he's having a beer, drop a bloody tampon in it when he's not looking. He won't be able to get the taste out of his mouth either.
Obelia 3
disgusting but the perfect payback!
DanielleinDC 34
Oh, I agree. If he thinks it's funny to fart in his fiancee's mouth, then he better not object to getting a little menstrual blood in his beer. Or his food. DivaCup, OP; check it out. Better yet, dump the little shit because a stunt like this is over-the-top disrespectful and anyone who thinks its acceptable to deliberately fart in someone's face deserves to spend many, many lonely nights.
fflintstoneNY 4
Leave him. He's a tool.
lilny5613 10
lol
N0face 5
Lol I would dump his ass so fast... And youre getting married to him ? Lmao good luck :-)
urkiddingright 3
DO NOT MARRY HIM. The end.
thatsucks77 0
That's dirty how could u do that
snegec 7
You're getting married to this idiot? Woah.. no wonder I'm still single, I'm definetly not violent enough with women I guess. Seems these days only continual abuse and show of superiority will get you with a girl wanting to marry you and have kids.
chamblizi 2
HE IS PETER GRIFFEN I SAID IT FIRST!!! XD
Bubbilility 27
You must be really dedicated to this guy...