Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
reetah 0
#36 saying "You're a woman so you're an attention *****" amongst other phrases of how women with small breasts should get boob jobs... yeah, way to be a complete jerk. women are already pressured enough by OTHER women, models with perfect bodies, etc; they don't need assholes like you going and making them feel like their bodies are unattractive and inferior.
kellster 2
1. Maybe you should look into wearing a supportive bra. 2. I hope you told him he needed a ball enhancement.
CapriceClassic 0
That's cold.
vanessa_nessa_08 0
To #36, maybe you're gay? Who says that kind of bullshit!? "They're fake men with small penis's. Plus it's a win for everyone if you get a boob job. You're a woman so you're an attention ***** what better way to say HEY LOOK AT ME? BIGGER BOOBS. Who knows you could end up as a trophy on some rich guys shelf. GO FOR IT HONEY" GAY BULLSHIT. Anyways, THERE ARE SOME MEN WHO LIKE GIRLS WITH BIG ****, and some men who like girls WITH LITTLE ****. NOT ALL GUYS ARE ASSHOLES LIKE YOU.
boatiebanter 0
Can I just point out, with regards to #34, that my best friend when I was 13 had DD boobs. She was quite tall and probably pretty much done growing. She hated it, because all the guys would just pick on her/make sleazy comments. Though it sounds like #34 enjoys not being a person. Also, seriously people, #36 is a retard troll. Stop feeding the troll.
smelinapants 0
#21: that was quite a stupid thing to say, don't you think? observant?! no, that's called STEREOTYPICAL. retard.
Bryan_Z 0
#58...WTF? Gay Bullshit? He's a troll, what does it do with anyone being gay? I don't think women are trophies, or look for attention (well, both sexes do, but not females in particular).
ohhhhshizzz 0
"No man likes small boobs. Don't believe any of these other assholes who say "I like them small" They're full of shit. Get a boob job trust me A LOT more guys will like you and you wont have to worry about these silly jokers saying I like small breasts. They're fake men with small penis's. Plus it's a win for everyone if you get a boob job. You're a woman so you're an attention ***** what better way to say HEY LOOK AT ME? BIGGER BOOBS. Who knows you could end up as a trophy on some rich guys shelf. GO FOR IT HONEY. #37 - 05/27/2009 at 5:48pm by WomboCombo" A, I know PLENTY of guys that like girls with small boobs. You are a woman hater, with the tiny dick because you cannot get laid. You have no life, and hide behind a computer. You are the dumbest piece of shit this site has. Not all women are attention ******, you don't even know every woman, the only women you probably have ever known would be possible school teachers and your jackass of a mom for not aborting you while she still had the chance. OP: I would have said, "I can get a boob job, you can't get class"
musicfanatic 0
WomboCombo, what are you ON? "You're a women so you must be an attention *****" Uh, I am a woman and I HATE getting attention. Not all girls want to be some trophy wife, and all they're good for is sex because they have huge **** and a great ass. Yeah, see this is probably the reason why you'll die alone, because all 47 of your cats ran away because your too much of an asshole. OP, awh, i'm sorry D: There are other guys out there that'll actually look at your face, not your boobs!
ArtsySwag 0
I'm with you #62- I don't like attention either. Don't even worry about the guy hun. Push-up bras are false advertisement!! Haha, only kidding (although they can be). You don't need to have surgery or anything. Just learn to embrace and love what you have :).