Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
ladywaldo 0
Wow guys usually like boobs, sorry
cherrystarkiss 0
THAT IS SO RUDE. im sure your boobs are just fine. men are pigs.
Jakespeed207 4
And here we have yet another female stereotyping all men as pigs. Hey lady! Stfu. There are nice guys around, just open your damn eyes. You couldn't have said "ooh, that guys a pig," no you need to add a while million guys who did absolutely nothing into the definition. rant over
Exchange 0
That is just so f**king disrespectful to a woman. yea, men are pigs. I have this experience before.
whomajigi 0
Option 3-no one cares. This guy is a douche, don't let strangers change your opinion of yourself.
whatevs80 0
WomboCombo you are a sad little boy who thinks he is a man. You know nothing about other people however your comments reveal what you are. I'd be willing to bet you live in your domineering mother's basement and have to wait on her hand and foot and thats' why you hate women so much. You are on here so often you obviously don't have a life to speak of, which is why you are so bitter. Anyone that spews as much hatred as you is clearly dealing with a multitude of personal issues. Get some therapy, prozac, or if you can find a woman that will pity you enough, get laid. Although I believe the last choice will not be a feasible option for you.
deadp00l_fml 0
Nice advice... fyl
flyingheads7853 0
He's gay because: 1. You described him as "Gorgeous" 2. He advised you on clothing.
The_Master 0
LMFAO #114!!!!!!!!!
The_Master 0
you cant get kicked out of a place for making a snide comment to someone...unless it provokes a brawl. if u see him again, kick him square in the nuts and tell the bartender that this guy is a known roofie slipper and get his ass banned permanently...BRILLIANT!
WildClown 0
Solid advice if I say so myself.