Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
vag_fml 0
he's gay. why else would a straight guy know what KIND of bra you need?
venom7 0
haha.. OWNED!! looool #1 drooooopy Work out to get the firm boobsies!
OTSS 0
Don't even worry about something so stupid like that....he's just trying to make himself feel....he was probably bitter at the fact that he probably just got dumped and that's why he was sitting all by himself at the bar to beging with....
rallets 23
well look lady, i was just trying to be honest. just trying to help you out a bit
wbrycem 0
3 - sometimes, a hot guy could be a total tard and still get laid by hot chicks, just because he's a hot guy. It sucks.
I_am_stupid_also 6
#94 - "They tend to use their hotness as an excuse to be a total douchbag." Regular guys eventually have to learn how not to be a douche if they want to get a girlfriend. Hot guys don't learn that.
morbid_circuit 0
Don't sweat it! Smaller boobs look better in all kinds of clothes anyways. ^_^ Don't do push-up bras. Its too fake. If they're droopy on the other hand, just get an underwire or something. And if you see him again, PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!!! XD
Sessee 4
I accidentally pressed "FYL".
kkim1226 0
ewwww grandma boobs!
jengen 0
I hope you punched him hard on the nose and told him, "If I were you, I would get a nose job."