Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
Nomad609 0
Make a comeback and say 'If I were you I'd get a life'
Jakespeed207 4
How is "get a life" a good comeback for "you might wanna get a pushup bra"? Makes no sense to me
Irony_and_Ivory 1
I don't understand why everybody gets so freaked out about droopy boobs. It's called gravity, people. Not every boob can be perky au natural. Srsly. You should have told him, "If I were you, I'd get some tact."
Irony_and_Ivory 1
Umm, #23, I'm not quite sure what being gay has to do with being offensive. I'm not trying to start anything, I swear, but I don't think it's fair to imply that homosexuality automatically equates to a lack of being able to keep your mouth shut. :/
imkendra 0
wowfmylife, you don't think it's rude? Making unsolicited unfavourable observations to strangers about their bodies is highly rude. There is nothing polite, kind or acceptable about saying to a woman you don't know anything about her breasts. A needless put-down. Just awful.
Ilovelife07 0
shoulda said "if I were you, Id start stuffing a sock in your pants" then walked away
drumdance 0
Are you hot, like a 9 or a 10? If so he was probably negging you. http://www.seductiontuition.com/mav/negs-collection.html
likeduhhx4 0
that's really rude, but next time make sure your shirt looks okay if you dont wear a push up bra..
Watsupmypeople 0
Maybe she wants to look natural.
Gunpar 0
FYL, that's really rude and uncalled for. Lol at #7, nobody cares about your bra size.
bipolarchipmunk 0
nah no. 25, i'm just saying gay guys tend to be a little more observant about these things, and maybe he was just trying to help her out? ah, i didn't word it well....frankly, i don't even know what i'm saying lol.
regalarius 0
...yeah, I agree with #16. I don't see the point to push-up bras. You'll turn away guys like me who like 'em smaller, and guys who expect something bigger will be unpleasantly surprised when you get down to business. Don't let this asshole get you down.