Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
GrapefruitZoe 0
I can't imagine why he thought it was acceptable to say that. Plus, you don't need a push-up if you have small boobs. I hate wire. I'm A-cup and wouldn't wear wire if you paid me. It hurts and it's pointless. Seriously, that's really sick, and 37, you can go be a trophy wife, never understand actual love, never know self respect, never achieve. You MUST have been kidding.
Sunako_fml 9
You should have said to that guy "If I were you, I would get a penis enlargement." What the hell happened to liking someone for who they are and not because of their body?
dancin303 0
#34, 13 with Ds? maybe your gonna need a boob reduction.
Gunpar 0
Ignore the people telling you to get a boob job. I don't know about other guys, but I think small breasts are way better than fake ones. That just screams, "I want attention, which I can only obtain through sex appeal!"
dantheman_fml 0
#33 thank you for proving once again that women are not people but rather objects for men to have fun with.... besides that i dont understand how that is a "fml" he gave you a tip, now take it buy urself a push up bra and next time a goodlooking talks to you it wont be to point out ur tiny boobs.
gabimessedyouup 0
@34 that just means you're really fat. thats all boobs are. unless you have recently had a boob job which i doubt then you should probably stop eating and sitting on your ass criticizing others. :]
jj732 0
34 that's gross, you're ******* thirteen. no one wants those, you're probably a huge **** too, go get a boob reduction. and 36 you're a horrible example of sexism in our world. not every woman needs huge ****.
Jakespeed207 4
Ok 50 I agreed with you on the one against 36 since i know girls don't need big boobs to be noticed. But that got overshadowed when i read the top. While a D cup may look a bit odd on a 13 year old, you have no right to call the chick a huge **** without knowing her. **** off
isthisonetaken 0
#30 i dont know why anyone would care about my bra size considering im a guy and have never worn one. the guy was just being honest, though it was quite blunt and a little over the top with the whole whispering in the ear part.
_anonymoose_ 0
i agree with #44, and #36 is disgustingly sexist.
xsw33tyx101 0
#36 WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?! Jeeez.... It's stupid assholes like you, that ruin the world. There is so much more to a girl than her boobs, and if you can't see past that you don't deserve even getting a girl to look at you. And you probs have a small dick.