Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
schwancy 2
You can move.
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
theboldshadow 11
haha that's awkward, you could of told him that he's making you uncomfortable and you would like some personal space
starile 20
Seri
starile 20
Seriously, that's an oppressive invasion of personal space, and your body is not being respected. If he made you uncomfortable, you don't have to stand for that shit and tell him straight up and assertively. Who cares about hurting feelings if he did you wrong and you'll never see him again? It's your prerogative to stand up for yourself.
RedKlondike 0
shut up tweet its cute ok?
AnnaBananaAUS 0
if u **** santa you might get some extra presents this year
evildemonchild 18
FTW to OP: you could have move >.>
henry3825 0
lol @ 20
twoo87 0
oh I'm sorry I thought you like fat guys!!!
sundayporch 2
Well, you could have moved or gotten off at the next stop and waiting for the next bus to come. YDI for not thinking.
mionee95 0
just move seats :)
estonian 0
how do you do that? take the seat on your back and run away?
not_a_jew_21 0
sugar daddy could pay your bus fare
misticblue79 0
I woulda gotten up and moved seats or just stood up if need be.