Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
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Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
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Comments (136)
AshDramatiicsxz 2
3 more miles O____________O that sucks !!!
tricHster 4
You deserved it for not moving.
skootergirl2010 0
I woulda been like, NIGGA GTF!!! and slapped his fatass
raaandy 0
okay, so stand up and walk 5 feet to another seat
sculp91 0
ohhhh
bipolaradhdfml 0
"Are you single?" "No." "Yeah? Well I bet I'm 5 times the man you've got." "You sure look it. How about you take it up with my boyfriend in two stops? He's special ops and loves these sorts of discussions." "... Um... Actually I'm getting off in one stop."
Late_night83 25
i wonder what makes people think they can bother other people like that on the bus! lack of respect.I always wear my headphones an don't socialize unless it's inevitable.
TardxxxCake 4
Simple solution to that. Punch him in his fat, ugly, smelly face and tell him to **** off. if he tries to pin you for assault, hit him back with sexual harassment.
CanadianNarwhal 13
"I'm a lesbian" "I'm married" "Lets get married" "I have 6 kids" "I'm a man" "WHALEZ" pretend to be a dolphin, dog, turkey etc. pretend to have gone deaf and blind, pass out, crap and or piss your pants.
insidejokeswithm 0
Were you single or not?