Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
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Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
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Comments (136)
tweetbaby14 18
I thought you liked my stench :(. you said it got you hot.
oakleyguy 0
should of made his day and kiss him and flirt
twinny_sc 13
You should have moved. YDI for staying there.
Skygee7395 0
you should get a ccw license and then tell him to **** off.
turtlemansam 6
You say it like it's a bad thing.
pohkerfayce 0
lol
AlesanaLTL 0
hey hey hey i dont want sound rude but dont be a pussy walk away
Jafozza 0
I'd be ecstatic if Fat Bastard sat next to me!
Guuurlplease 0
You could have shanked him. Don't pretend to be the victim because you were too pussy to tell him to leave you alone.
knightknight 0
pepper spray
fertie226 1
YDI it for dealing with it until your stop. you can't stand up for yourself? or at least get up and move?
FunkyMonk174 0
that is a normal reaction, op. you are a real person, a real women, which means that you lack rights. you judged a book by it's cover. maybe he was a nice guy and wanted to make a conversation with you. but... you lacked the intelligence to realize that. hahahah I kid yet again. no one get offended. I'm sure people will post something though.
Einstein714 0
big fat smelly guys need loving too
gohabs21 0
3 miles isn't that far...
MarkSeattle 0
total ydi. tell him to take his arm off of you. if he's too damn fat to sit in the seat with his arm beside him too bad. then get up and move so he's not rubbing his blubber and stench on you for the rest of the trip.
ColdGold 6
Then they should make themselves loveable.
MykeLytorus 0
Why does the 1950s bodybuilder guy look so red? His body is not proportioned like fit people these days. He looks like he's from the 50s. Nobody goes for the big Hulk Hogan stomach anymore. They go for 6 pack abs.
legonut6 0
OMG 3 MILES. BFD OP.
H8fulwanker 1
Really? You seem to like the '******' word very much. Rolls off your tongue so easily, doesn't it? You don't think it can hurt others' feelings? How about if I am constantly calling you 'Paki' or 'Sand ******' since you're from Arab. PS: Yeah, it's really hard to believe you go to the gym since your body looks so uneven and unkept and your stomach looks so gigantic. Do more sit ups then you can show off your body.
Mehness 0
It's not that far, but it's not like they're going 60mph. It could been a good ten minutes of that...
connorfinch 0
oh no 3 miles that's like 3 minutes
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
ScarletAshes 0
yea! you should have went ahead and got his number!!
StephyBaby16 0
aww u culda atleast giv him a bj ur soo rude!
Jizwold 0
cough! ***** cough!
neal001 0
85-Did you pass english class?
MrsDruidess 23
sounds like you should have moved. I will never understand why people stay in uncomfortable situations when they could easily change seats or stand somewhere else.
kenjiisown 1
I would have punched his nuts.
tpm45 25
Carry mace. Maybe it'll fix both his smell and his ugly if you spray it in his face.
Isumbella 0
More to Love.
kentnguyen 0
fat people need loving too
lickmyjock 0
looks like you will be getting off quickly ;-)
zOMGitsdc 0
And the worst part is, that's the most action you've seen in months!
gumzy 6
looooollllll !!!!
hilda_kitty 16
ROFL that was actually funny. like, REALLY funny.
tweetbaby14 18
and that is relevant how?
IPityTheFool 0
more cushion for the pushin *wink*
buddyweiser 0
reminds me of my plane ride back from nyc