Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
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Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
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Comments (136)
sourgirl101 29
1: It's about being on a "bus" 2: Waiting for a "stop" 3: "Invading personal space" (though her's didn't seem to mind). Sweet candy! It seems to go with this FML story perfectly.(: Sharing is caring. Do you have any ju- ju beans?
ShadowPunkChick 1
So you get off the bus at the next stop and wait 15 or 20 minutes for the next one. Or if you were in too much of a hurry to wait for the next bus to come along, move to a different spot..idiot.
yianni 0
eww what a creep
paralyzingsilenc 0
that's attractive -_- shoulda changed ur seat
boatkicker 5
New to being in public? Creepers can and will be found anywhere and are to be ignored if possible. First off, tell him to take his arm off you. After that, if you're sitting, there is always somewhere else on the bus to be. If you're lucky, other seats will be available. If there isn't another empty seat, find somewhere to stand. Turn your back on him, if possible, so that he wont talk to you.
darkangel19_fml 2
don't worry I hav had this happen to me to. an for the ppl with other solutions they don't really work. i have tried moving and he followed me. I tried telling him flat out and he still wouldn't leave me alone! so op I don't blame u. I sucks
boatkicker 5
If he follows you, move right up close to the driver. The driver should be able to kick him off the bus for harassment if he wont leave you alone.
popaii 0
move seats and well run if he stops at your busstop lol
Odelia_Odie 6
move? lol, i'd rather stand even if my stop wasn't for another half hour than sit beside a smelly fat guy. :P
hedgehogs 0
Stuff like this is why I took a self-defense course. It might help to know that in legal terms, this is assault. The appropriate reaction is full-on rage and to tell him, "Get the hell away from me!" Start pushing at him and do your best to get away. Sound loud, angry, and like you're a lot more trouble than it's worth to pester. The point also is to get other people to hear you and possibly call police -- nothing else, to be warned that there's a predator in their midst. Certainly, it's the bus driver's business to know. They have protocols and procedures to follow in cases like these.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#106 I would be creeped out if a guy did that to me, regardless whether he was fat or skinny, ugly or attractive. I wouldn't get an assault charge against him, but I would definitely not want someone to hit on me in such a strong way that I couldn't get out of without force.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#108 Exactly! Breaching the "personal bubble of space" with a stranger is inevitably creepy and unacceptable. It's not the fact that he was trying to flirt with her that's creepy, it's the fact that he touched her.
caraphernelia 0
3 miles isn't even a long time! Pansy!