Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
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Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
lol I like ur brother
00FireSong00 0
Smart one your brother is...
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Comments (135)
Jessi_the_sexii 0
lol I like ur brother
Ryzaki 0
I know. he deserved it.
smiley_ily 0
haha, he cared for a couple of seconds? and wanted to remember you by your phone :)
ScarletAshes 0
that's a good bother right there, dont let ANYONE tell you different!!
oakleyguy 0
lol sneaky
ScarletAshes 0
brother* lol but brothers are bothers...
heysugar111 0
he is my HERO (:
twinny_sc 13
Haha I did that to my four-year-old brother months ago and he cried my name, then opened my eye and poked it.
Pyr0freak 0
Fail.
Skygee7395 0
what a moron...
MikeyyyyLover 0
lmaoo ikrrrr
thisisLAUREN 0
so what?
black_knight402 0
your brother isn't the sharpest knife in the tool box is he?
turtlemansam 6
I bet you have the iPhone 4. it's irresistable
babyale760 0
cute kid :)
Peacemaker9 7
agree with 29 lol
YourEvilHero 12
I agree with myself
Jafozza 0
He'd probably actually care if the iPhone died though ;D
Guuurlplease 0
lol you know you would have done the same thiiing
kidwiththehair12 0
32, there are no knives in tool boxes...
SweetLikeDirt 0
I read that and was going to post that ^^ but then I scrolled further down and saw you beat me to it lol. OP 4year olds don't really understand death, he probably knew you were joking or thought you were sleeping. When there is a death you have to really explain it to them, them just seeing someone "asleep" doesn't just naturally occur to them that the person is dead.
choupinette77 0
not true at all, 62. a lot of kids by that age have seen action movies and have an idea what dead means. my 3 year old cousin does. stop trying to be smart and stfu.
sourgirl101 29
This is true Chance. I also have a utility knive in my tool box.( And yes I own my very own tools(: ) But I guess 32 mixed two different expressions together. You're not the sharpest "knife" in the draw. You're not the sharpest "tool" in the shed.
StephyBaby16 0
wat else wuld he do? wtf is antiflood?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Brother: 1 You: -0.5
Bubbelz 25
Anti-flood makes sure you you can't (accidentally) post something multiple times. It's also a bitch because you have to wait a minute to post again :)
Mumbellosity711 0
WINWINWINWINWINWINWIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bigblue95 0
thats a sic joke. why wld u ever do that. its jus mean.
SweetLikeDirt 0
#72 How about you stfu, that wasn't needed. Grow up. Just because you know one child at the age of three who would see you lying there and instantly think you're dead, doesn't mean most would or do.
SweetLikeDirt 0
Sorry #73 not 72
foreverspellman 0
32, why would a knife be in a toolbox...? maybe i'm not the brightest crayon in the box...
brad24153 0
exactly how many knives do you keep in your tool box?... someone else beat me to it..haha
jonle28 0
exactly, How is this an FML moment? "Today, I bought fries and my brother ate one, FML." no one really cares about your lame life.
SKlDROW 0
I do this to my dog sometimes but she doesn't steal my phone.
JakeTheGr8 0
Yeah! Way to show'em!
boringday123 7
74- lol but saying "You're not the smartest tool" sounds really weird
Rubybabeexx 0
hahahahahaha OP ur an idiot!!! ydi!!
black_knight402 0
93 i'm talking about the knife that is used for cutting carpets, boxes, etc....
Worver 0
That kid is awesome.
BillyDisselhorst 3
Why wood a knife be in a tool box?
E_breaker 0
that way you learn!
00FireSong00 0
Smart one your brother is...
vivibeatles 1
look! we have Yoda over here =P
purgarus 6
Way to ruin it Vivi >.> you suck.
the_boob 0
OP, you're an idiot. that's all.
shhhitsasecret 0
op why would u even do that?
Isumbella 0
Smart Kid [:
bluecat_fml 0
smart kid :)
sourgirl101 29
Smart kid ^•_•^
musicman226 0
op you are f-ing retarded
justbemellow 0
you're 10th. that's 9 away.
winning11 0
You can't saying "*******"? Are you 12?
LadiiFresH 0
sounds like somethin I would do... the name crying was just to assure you were dead lol
missalkali 8
are actually saying that if you found your brother dead you'd steal his iPhone and run away laughing?
buddyweiser 0
ha ydi
green_eyes124 0
haha totally something my brother would have done... don't put yourself in that position unless you are expecting the worst : ) smart little brother you have there. keep an eye on him or you'll be in trouble lol