Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML
Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML
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Top comments
zp5 4
"hi how are you doing-whoa! i am so sorry-whoa! that was an accident-whoa!..."
SixteenAndSOL 0
LMAO. maybe he liked you. ;)
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Comments (116)
kill3rs 0
FYL sorry bud
KarinaLizeth18 5
I thought this was hilarious! xD OP needs a sense of humor. :P
KarinaLizeth18 5
If the man would have done it by accident every time, then yes that would have been quite irritating, but he did it as a joke so I think OP should have taken it as a joke too and laughed it off. xD I know there are alot of sour people that would let this ruin their day, but I am not one of those people so I would have just laughed it off! :P
novair 5
ah hobo love.
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
lol this reminds me of the surprise trust fall video they showed on tosh.o
KingDingALing 9
Acciddent or not, it would be really ******* annoying.
KiddNYC1O 22
I disagree, 23. If it was by was accident every time, I'd be laughing. If he was playing around the whole time, I'd make sure at the next stop I give him a swift kick in the ass as the doors are closing leaving his ass outside.
KarinaLizeth18 5
LOL 53.. If it was an accident I'd be more upset because a drunk idiot can't control himself. If it was a joke I'd laugh. >.< IDK i guess to each his/her own.. :P
KiddNYC1O 22
But the guy is drunk, rendering his control useless. That's funny to me lol
KarinaLizeth18 5
Point made :p .. Haha, drunken idiots are pretty funny, but this guy was on a bus. I'm straight edge so I get just a little upset when people are drunk in these settings. If he was at a party or at home then OK, but this guy was on a bus so it would irritate me. >.< Honestly this is a dead end conversation because I still think a joke would be more funny than some irresponsible, drunk moron that isn't considerate of others! xD
buzz18 7
ittt happeennss
KiddNYC1O 22
You win.
dogcolon 0
get shat on op
R2d6 0
that's hilarious
penismightier 3
#69 r u drunk?
omgwork 0
33 you're so white!
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
You should have made him a sammich.
CitizenSnipz 0
But record it first. Keep Youtube going.
Maximus_Axiom 7
like a boss!
SixteenAndSOL 0
LMAO. maybe he liked you. ;)
jamesmeyer2010 0
rawr ur cute
Wirebiter 0
I'm sure.
cole86 0
That sounds AWESOME!!!
mintcar 10
FYL for having to stand next to a drunk man for 30 minutes.
GaryBusey1121 0
Finish Him dammit!!!!
iTwitch 5
haha I agree!
WolfsGuns 0
wow dats kinda fuked up
Hgielad_720 0
What is fuked?
SarahPicc 3
grammar wizard. ^ lol
Hgielad_720 0
Nahh. :) If I was a "grammar wizard" then I would've corrected that whole damn sentence. Lol
Hgielad_720 0
Thanks for clarifying that. It makes so much more sense now. :) And apparently the OP does. She was probably secretly enjoying it.
zoraman5 3
UK buses people, impossible to get off... >.<
Hgielad_720 0
Haha I was being sarcastic. I was just trying to be nice about it though. :)
zp5 4
"hi how are you doing-whoa! i am so sorry-whoa! that was an accident-whoa!..."
sara117 0
Haha
omgwork 0
who are you talking to? ^
nobunaga0416 0
haha! LMFAO!
evildemonchild 18
LMFAO!
leena24 11
hahaha I don't know if OP deserved it or not, but the drunk guy is a crack up!
Bieberbabe89 0
sexual harrasment!!!!!!!
CitrusGirl 0
Panda!
imnotonaboat 0
lol 75 south park ftw
Nadinek98 0
get some;)