Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
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Top comments
Jessi_the_sexii 0
sounds like u got a hot date
knibbsy 4
YDI for not making the first move. If you would have said "hey big boy, I bet you're sexy and jacked underneath all those rolls!" then he would have likely suffered a heart attack and died on the spot, therefore preventing everything.
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Comments (136)
tweetbaby14 18
Klondike get a don't get butt-hurt over something that wasn't said to you. it was a question.
EightInchNails 9
.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
he's just tryin to bring sexy back. because you know them other boys don't know how to act.
knibbsy 4
I brought it back years ago. It's much too late for him.
BrendaButt 0
in Hawaii they can fine you if you get on the bus and u have B.O,
stitch_book 4
especially if it smells like sexual harassment.
cstevanus 4
i lived in hawaii for 3 1/2 years cuz my dad was navy, i didnt know that. altho i never rode the public bus cuz that was when i was in 4th-7th grade and for most of it i lived in naval housing.
BrendaButt 0
#50 yeah they fine you $500 or jail for 6 months if u have B.O at the transit centers or riding TheBus, they passed that back in September 09'
Wtfmlib 0
walk fatty
nerdsgetmehot 23
I don't ride the bus anymore for a somewhat similar reason. While waiting at the bus stop, some guy pulled over to the side of the road and offered me a ride...When I refused, he hit on me in a really creepy way. :/
nerdsgetmehot 23
#40 Apparently I really need to! I asked for mace for my birthday but didn't receive any. How sad. My mixer is a standing mixer and weighs around 50 pounds...That would be fun to fling at creepers. :P
lafingman0 5
You got trolled, IRL. xD
aashleeyy 0
awe same think happened to me except he was old and was asking me to be his gf
Freeze_fml 17
He shouldn't be on the bus. Sounds like he could use the exercise.
gumzy 6
I bet he smelled lik cheese! But hey at least he didn't lik follow you home or something! ;)
tweetbaby14 18
no all fat people smell like bologna or hot dogs