Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
Dilosaurous_Rex 0
WOW DUDE! Seriously, the part about no male doctors is a plus. I mean, come on dude... whenever I have to go get a physical I pray to god as hard as I can that I get a hot women doctor. I just don't understand who would rather have their balls handled by a dude than a chick?
Dragodon64 0
Look I'm all for nurse fetishes and all that... but when your BALLS need STITCHES, who gives a **** about hot stuff?! I would normally have prefered a male doctor as well, but at that point I really wouldn't care.
Lulu714 0
22: You're SUPER hot! In case you were wondering :P
sasha_is_my_name 5
Totally agree with thy statement ;D lolz
FMPain 0
I think he means that since there were no male doctors, the women doctors didn't fix his scrotum right since scrotums are parts of a MALE's body.
blankslate 0
I really don't think it would matter either way- male doctor or not. I'm pretty sure they would know what they're doing. Also, wouldn't it technically be the nurses that would have to stitch him up? I think so.
happylittleman 0
Wow, FMPain, you're a dumbass.
whatacoolkid 0
hahahah you must have been a HAPPY fella.....
emmersx 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
junkinmahcranium 0
YDI for being so big of an idiot that you rode without a seat cover! Why would that ever sound like a GOOD idea?! I can imagine riding without a helmet or good brakes, but a SEAT COVER? Jeezus. And you're a GUY, so that makes it worse. Fool. Oh, and why would you go over a curb if you had no seat cover? You're ridiculously dim-witted.
aybaileigh 0
Why would you ride it...without the seat cover?
SookMauNoots 0
why would you want a male doctor
guidebot 0
You get your ball sack ripped open and you're worried about getting a boner in the ER? YDI
LolCows 0
Wow all negative comments? hahaha that sucks dude
yojoeletsmakeout 0
what the hell? why has EVERY comment been "buried" because of the negative votes? how ridiculous. anyway, i cringed at this, and i'm not even a guy. FYL. hope you get better soon.