Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML
Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
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Top comments
camer0n15 8
Sue them
DocBastard 40
It took you an entire hour to check out why your balls were getting stabbed? Sorry, but if I ever feel like I'm getting a scrotum piercing, I'm going to immediately find out why. I'm not sure who is more stupid - you or the person who left the needle there.
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Comments (163)
camer0n15 8
Sue them
Edwinadii 4
And you waited for an hour till you checked?...Mother of God 8@
kelissa_fml 16
At least you weren't playing poker. Okay, horrible joke. Not even remotely funny... /:
buck33 14
Well at least the needle could have been... Well, no, it couldn't have been much worse. FYL
Kyzahhh 7
As soon as i felt and kind of pain near my junk i would be inspecting it straight away
Kyzahhh 7
Any* ******* iPhone
YayFlameWarz 9
Don't you mean SEW them! Im going to hell...
BrokenDreamer24 15
40- I'll meet you there!
Renesaga 8
There's no need to sue them; OP clearly has balls of steel. He doesn't care about money now because he could be a legitimate super hero. They'll call him.. Needleballs Man!
ClassyCommando 13
He will be famous, and all pincushions will be designed to resemble his magnificent scrotum!
attaboy368 20
while that is true, sometimes you have teachers that will not accept any reason for leaving class (shoulda taken care of that before you came to class). And btw it wouldn't have been the designer that left the needle it would have been the person sewing it at the manufactures..just saying...
PhoenixDark1313 2
You could say sew them
periwinkle95 10
132- Too late. Already posted. Don't try again. Please.
blushy 14
i agree...ouch
elite_stoner 0
135-- douche
xxjoshuaxx21 4
great profile pic 76
xxjoshuaxx21 4
76 great pic :) sorry if this posts twice my ipods ben messing up
esp_superstar 10
They should pay for that u could have been hurt
cookiemonster144 0
Sue them.
jellybeans4833 7
No don't sue them, sew them. : P But wtf ... Custom made swim trunks? You must be rich. =_=;
robertlovespi 3
Where did the OP say custom #16? Am I missing it or something?
Michael_92 20
Designer...Custom...umm yea get it now?
MizzErikaHart 8
Designer and custom don't mean the same thing...I don't think
Michael_92 20
Haha point is you should know....I could personally use them both all day long. Depends how you word it. In my opinon
peteyfas 8
It says "the designer" though, not "designer"
BlueHue 0
Yeah #86 has a good point... The person who made it left the needle in it. I read it first as designer swimwear, though :P
jbsington 8
Well, since it was made by hand (with an actual needle and not a sowing machine) I'd say it could be custom. Or just pretty damn expensive.
causticgirl 6
Maybe someone's grandma made them and left a pin in. My grandma did that in an occasional Halloween costume - tho usually on the hem line, not the crotch
MerrikBarbarian 9
Uhh, you use sewing pins to hold material together while you sew with machine. I think op was referring to those not the sewing needle.
attaboy368 20
not all sewing is done by a machine.. and machines do break including the needles, actually if it were to break off from a machine it would be easier to miss the needle being in the clothes...should be reported to the manufacturer
Michael_92 20
There should be a way to remove stupid comments you make.
123josie123 11
Ouch that's careless on their part. Fyl OP!
guitarbeast 22
Ouch, that really sucks
halfbakedlogic 6
Chlorine attacking scrotum disease?
superpoptart 24
Was this a custom made swimsuit?
killtin 2
And that's where my head went also lol well he does have a pool for p.e. rich kids :(
thatssomeBS 9
9: My community middle school had a swimming pool in it. We had swimming in P.E. And I am most definitely not rich. I never had designer trunks though.
Goddamnidiots 12
tell me, on a scale of 1 to 10 how boring that would be
monkeysinatree 6
Haha our primary school didn't have a pool so we would walk to another schools pool for our lessons :P
krawrz4u 0
My school has every freaking thing you can think of for every grade and probably one third of the kids aren't rich like me so maybe not but I doubt he got them and Walmart though
hsRoseTyler5 14
Shoot my school didn't even have swimming lessons... Come to think of it I know a lot of people I used to go to school with that drowned...
spinky03 7
I would've checked when it first started to hurt..
thisisafunnyname 12
OP has got some major testicles for being able to withstand that for an hour in a pool. But sadly one of OP's testicles may have fallen out as a result.
DocBastard 40
It took you an entire hour to check out why your balls were getting stabbed? Sorry, but if I ever feel like I'm getting a scrotum piercing, I'm going to immediately find out why. I'm not sure who is more stupid - you or the person who left the needle there.
Pentium_4 27
if your scrotum was being stabbed, there'd be bleeding, wouldn't someone (or you) notice??
yahoowizard 16
Well 44, that's when you question the gender of the swimmer, and questions are best left unasked
Pentium_4 27
pretty sure only male's have scrotum's.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
God I hate it when people put apostrophes where you don't need them *ahem* @55 *ahem*
Hawkblade 0
@44 beading from the crotch area is... unusual for a male
Serythvalker 7
44: Maybe he killed someone in his pants and they're too afraid to ask out of fear for their own lives?
Pentium_4 27
61 - i was debating whether it needed to be there and my laziness took over so i left it
The_creator_fml 2
Sew them.
glittercookies 12
You should have excused yourself to the bathroom so you could investigate the problem. Poor thing.
glittercookies 12
Excused yourself as soon as you felt pain*
funnynesh 10
Glitter cookies?!?!? Yummmm