pain
United States
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Anonymous
Itchy and scratchy
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML
monkeycannon7
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Loki16
New York, United States
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
CantPublish
United States
Thorn in my side
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Top comments
Andr913 13
What the **** is wrong with you?
fortehlulocaust 6
Just a bit of pain I take it?
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Comments (212)
Andr913 13
What the **** is wrong with you?
Andr913 13
I got the first comment-I'd like to thank my health teacher for letting us use our cell phones during class!
noel_ani 0
Haha I just get out at 1:50 so ya know(:
flockz 20
what would be the "easy" way to learn that?
AnonymousTroll 2
Well at least it's not as bloody as a period.
flockz 20
what would be the "easy" way to learn that? nothing really feels to great on your balls except a few certain things.
Savra_fml 17
Flockz, i join your curiousity. But, to answer your question, "Google" is the only answer i came up with.
jaredofmo 22
flockz, the easy way is someone telling you.
MyEpicDemise 7
Learnt your lesson eh? You should've used masking tape.
pookberry 4
Oops meant plain not plan :)
margie2194 12
Well now we know. Hehe.
evilplatypus 39
Flockz - common sense, maybe? I'm female and even I knew that was a bad idea. Medical tape is strong.
_Oblivion_ 12
That's like using duck tape to wax, seems like a good idea in the beginning than it's a mother in the end.
flockz 20
momma duct tape had a baby?
StopDropNRoll 11
Actually easy way is read fml. Laugh a little and acknowledge that you learned something new today :) Oh yea and make sure not to try it unless you like pain!
Georgieeporgiee 9
Don't even put plasters on it, it could rip out pubes! Ouchy my friend, ouchy!
crazychick1269 7
Well apparently he put medical tape on his dick and ripped it off...
EmreArslan 11
He said scrotum not penis... Or what do you think a scrotum is???[hint: it holds "balls"]
thefirstAvenger 6
reading this fml
Torva_fml 16
18- how would you know? Have you experienced both a period, and testicular bleeding? I think not...
BogJuan 5
Hermaphrodites could experience both.
flamerocker 9
First of all, how did he get the damn cut??
Torva_fml 16
105- they usually have one or the other, not both...
_Oblivion_ 12
Im gunna take a wild guess and say it was a razor cut
ledstratdak 0
simpsons did it
n_epic_fail 14
This sounds like something the kid who was to dumb to study for his retake exam would do.
Icecream93 4
You ever had sex ed?
Sebastian_NG 17
Wow the same thing happened to me today... Just put some alcohol on it, some tissue paper and throw on some tighty whitheys
tjv3 10
well you should always take care to not cut yourself while shaving the sack. you should skimp on the razor or the shaving cream for the hair down there. I use a 5 blade razor and good gel
Boygenius50 8
106-Ask your mommy and daddy, they'll give you a "talk"
ImFrackinBored 13
138- How many people are cutting their balls today?... O_O
poppylamonzo 0
106- he shaving off his pubeys, and he cut his SCROTUM with a razor..
zendaddy0 0
What were you out of band aids??
soulreaper12296 28
He said from a razor cut. Pretty sure that it should be pretty oblivious he got it shaving his crotch.
fortehlulocaust 6
Just a bit of pain I take it?
ShakeMeDown 12
Actually it is quite relaxing between the ripping of the pubes and the tearing of the genital flesh. Very fun. You should try it.
NomOnShroomz 14
Men are ******* when it comes to our genitalia. It tends to be a tad more sensitive than the female's.
Georgieeporgiee 9
Is anybody else curious how OP cut his scrotum...?
evilplatypus 39
Given the fact that it says the cut was due to a RAZOR, I would assume that he was shaving his sack. Reading: it's our friend
imcutefml 0
Its called shaving... Thats how edit: crap 90 beat me to it
mrosew442 10
81- actually, we have twice as many nerves down there than guys do. yes, it hurts like he11 for guys because its all hanging out, but people who think that means it doesn't hurt
mrosew442 10
I apologize for my last comment, advisement hit send before I was done. the rest was "but people who think it doesn't hurt for girls are just dumb"
Boygenius50 8
I lol'ed @ 90's comment
noel_ani 0
Owwwwwwwww! Good Job.
skate4shekla 0
stfu
13FTW 9
64, omg wtf stfu mofo.
Wheredidgrungego 12
A bit short on pubes now eh?
Savra_fml 17
Pubes have already been removed by the razor, resulting in the cut ball sack!
flockz 20
unless he did a piss poor job, and stopped when he mutilated his ballsack. either way though, his nuts are probably very pissed at him right now.
ShakeMeDown 12
I'd be pissed if someone cut me and then tried to tape me back together.
anonymous496 0
WHY??
natnatkat 8
This is the best thing i've ever heard
False_Stupidity 42
Irony indeed, although I can't help but point out that you typed would instead of wound.
Meme1988 18
You poor thing
fistnazal 10
Mm I kiiiinda feel like you either have a very low pain tolerance oooor you just REALLY wanted to find an opportunity to write an fml?
FYLDeep 26
Or maybe he's just not into CBT.
fistnazal 10
I admit, I'm not the hippest of hippster's but, CBT?
pookberry 4
I was wondering the exact same thing... So I went to urbandictionary.com and cbt stands for "**** and ball torture"
FYLDeep 26
It is my duty to learn disturbing acronyms so I can make people accidentally google things that are not safe for work.
FYLDeep 26
Yeah, but if you don't know that one by now, then you're probably not the type of person who would bother googling an unknown acronym.
J3R3MYY 14
After explaining the damn acronym dont u think itd be easier to just type it out, this generation is way to lazy "tbh"
2ndSucks 15
102- I'm pretty sure he just explained why he used the acronym. And the rest of his post is spelled out correctly so I wouldn't really call it lazy.
docscientist 10
102- says the guy who sacrifices two letters so he can spell you as "u".
J3R3MYY 14
#123 umadbro? Sometimes its easier to spell "u" over "you" on my iPhone.. Just sayin.
white16sox 19
102 when you're on this app and someone asks what you're looking at, do you say fml or **** my life?
J3R3MYY 14
155- Tell me how this relates to the subject at hand? Actually new acronym; SAT "subject at hand" put that in the urban dictionary of yours.
2ndSucks 15
It was completely relevant, sweetheart. 155 was referring to the fact that you most likely say FML instead of **** my life, and therefore go against your own standards of "laziness."
Taybabe2525 0
Fml is actually the name of this app, sweetheart
J3R3MYY 14
Wow, I completely missread that. FML Im over tired I need sleep. Goodnight everyone from FML. I hope this answered your question 123.
J3R3MYY 14
Er 155, damn I need sleep.
floopyflooper 2
Uh, duh??!!
Savra_fml 17
# 9, you comment as if you already know not to do what OP did in such a situation. Have you done this before?......Cut a tendon/nerve?.....Now your flooper is all floopy?...........Spastic?
floopyflooper 2
I'm a woman?
DeathBunny218 37
sounds like you should never use razors either...
saIty 17
How dangerous would OP be by running with scissors?
RoseCrystal 17
eep!
False_Stupidity 42
Thankyou for the most insightful and well thought out comment of this FML, I'm sure you labored for hours just to get the wording perfect...