Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
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Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
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Comments (181)
cellist1 0
Ouchie. But YDI.
hotstuff81 0
Oh my **** ever comment is buried. What the **** is up with that. Who wouldn't want a girl doctor to be checking out their ass during surgery? I would if I were a guy want a girl checking out my ass.
abcdefghiloveyou 0
...do you know what a scrotum is?
humorizer 14
Lol, sadly the person doesn't seem to know what it is. Even worse, he/she has 81 in his/her name, suggesting the person is at least 27. Scary.
lololol111 0
well, they probably assumed that to operate on the scrotum, you'd be lying face down, depending on if the back or the front of it was the part that needed stitches.
xion820 0
Other then the fact it would probly hurt like hell to have a cut there, why would having a female sew you up a bad thing? Especialy if she was attractive.
Inked2009 0
Ouch
babaa_fml 0
why is every single comment considered bad? and also..no male doctors around, this is a bad thing why?
Colby_Colbert 0
YAMSACK
fangsupKELS 0
Idk if I had something happen to my v I would want a lady doctor to take care of it. Less akward I guess cause you know they have one too so it's not as creepy & they would know what to expect. Plus I don't want a guy like staring at my v for an hour. Akward much?
1suckatL1fe 6
and the Darwin Award goes to you...YDI
bortzy93 0
why the hell would you want a male doctor?? what makes you think they know how to play with your scrotum better than the female docs??
Atropos_fml 0
This is exactly what I said would happen when FML started that thumbs down feature. Everyone is abusing it and now all comments are considered bad. This is ridiculous. OP, that sounds extremely painful. I can't even picture it, haha. Not that I'd want to.
genius_man16 1
Yeah, I knew it would happen too. I"m surprised it took this long actually.