Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML
Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
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Top comments
georgia_fml 0
I'd go shove it on her chest. Oh well, she sounds funny :P
Chaith 16
Make your way to electronics in the nearest department store.. swipe a kiddy game for $7.99 or so.. Next time you see her with a low cut top, put the 'Early Childhood' sticker between. Lolol
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Comments (180)
99MDC 0
Maybe since you're obviously not investing in food, you should invest in a vibrator.
MatthewAllMighty 0
I agree with #47. she was probably just kidding.
Lolitia 4
hahahahaha. Well if it makes you feel any better, even if it is small it's not so much the size as how you use it.
plexico 4
I'd think if she knows your dick is extra small AND feels comfortable enough to joke about it AND she's STILL your girlfriend, then she is OK with your microphallus. You could still go the asshole route and ask her if she is staying with you until she can find an S, M, L, XL, XXL, etc.
kelther 0
NOPE, THAT'S A LIE.
sadlife_fml 4
i'm a girl, and will vouch for the fact that some girls just don't like really big dicks. i have friends that agree with me, too. some girls weren't made for them!
chowyuk 0
fy gfs life for having a bf that wears xs jeans. get over it she's with you obviously you have something she likes clearly it's not ur junk or ur sence of humor
fabulous_geek 0
I have to disagree with youon one thing. Extremely skinny guys are in fact hot, and I for one prefer skinny guys over the big football player sized ones. Just wanted to point that out.
somechick99 0
Hah!
ohhdamn 0
I weigh 115, am 5' 3" and a size 0/ 24. It's honestly not that hard to fit in an xs. don't bitch against the thin, it's not like i go around playing a tuba around fatties.
somechick99 0
Tarynkd - oh how wrong you are, on too many counts! I registered just to tell you that. First, it's a ********, and that's on the outside. Learn your proper anatomy before making statements like that. Second, contrary to belief, if you don't know what to do with what you've got, you're not good. No matter how large or not you are. I say you're 16 or younger, so I'll spare you the technical details. Just don't say things matter-of-factly when you yourself don't even know. So, until you do (hopefully far, far from now, considering your current ignorance on this topic) don't try to voice opinions that can't be backed up. G'day!
ultrazealot 0
I also registered just to be able to ask you where you learned your anatomy? We were taught genital anatomy in 5th grade. This leads me to believe that either you are way too young to be commenting on this topic, or you never paid attention or cared. Sometimes ignorance amazes me.