Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, I got into my car to go to work and discovered that my seat, seat-belt, door, and all the electronics in the door were wet. Apparently I hadn't wound the window all the way up, and it rained last night. I'm now sitting at my desk typing this with a wet bum. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Hahaha. Oh wow. At least it was on your car and not on you.
Cheatx 0
Next time bring a dart gun, shoot one down, and take a nice man size crap on it.
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Comments (45)
itsnotfair 0
YDI for having a car. seriously
atomicbaboon 0
yoda did it.
BloodMonger13 9
^ WIN
tx_beast 5
You doing incest
RagingClue 0
This is not an FML, this is horse shit. (However it gave me a raging clue none the less.
ATwistedUpFrown 0
Actually, it's bird shit ;)
redbluegreen 41
Hahaha. Oh wow. At least it was on your car and not on you.
ztc14gk 0
So fyl for sleeping? I have one better. "Today, I tried going to sleep after studying for 8 hours for my final tomorrow. So stressed from all the information I decided to listen to my ipod to relax me and get me to sleep. It is no longer in my bag,my roommate likes to leave with the door wide open so anyone can just walk in. So now I am stressed from my test and because I was robbed. FML" At least you have the ability to sleep.
24788 7
I have to park under a tree. I go through this everyday in the spring and summer. I still love the birds though.
curlyfriez 0
FYL if your sun roof was open or if it was a convertible. Just go wash your car.
Cheatx 0
Next time bring a dart gun, shoot one down, and take a nice man size crap on it.
BaldOuting 0
not really an fml. a 5 dollar car wash at a gas station will fix that.
so_me_fml 0
Wow that's a bummer. Enough bird poopie that it sounded like rain is a LOT of bird poopie :( careful don't breathe it in!
AUT_student 0
So, wash your car. NOT an FML. #2 - bird shit, not horse shit. Horse shit would possibly be an FML.