Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML
Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
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Top comments
georgia_fml 0
I'd go shove it on her chest. Oh well, she sounds funny :P
Chaith 16
Make your way to electronics in the nearest department store.. swipe a kiddy game for $7.99 or so.. Next time you see her with a low cut top, put the 'Early Childhood' sticker between. Lolol
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Comments (180)
liv_fml 0
what. a. dumbass.
sadlife_fml 4
A ******** is not a g spot. A g spot is a g spot. One is on the outside and the other is inside. I don't really care what kind of education you had - some things you learn from school, some things are meant to come from google. And I find it hard to believe you were never taught genital anatomy unless you live in some ridiculous religious zealot place. Please consult google before college, or suffer the embarrassing consequences...
crackAjack 0
google, watch ****, and talk to someone more experienced (just not your mom and dad)
Lonely4 0
I went to a super religious school, and they didn't do diagrams of anatomy, talk about g-spots, etc...and I didn't have sex until I was 23....but I'm a girl, I noticed my own body. How have you NOT noticed that your "sex organs", as you call them, and not solely on the inside?
bholland16 0
tarynkd, im 16 and even i know that your clit is on the outside (and i too am a virgin). and that your g-spot is on the inside. this is basic info. how do u not know this? and i would agree that you must live in a religious zealot. i mean, in this day and age, even if your crappy school doesnt teach you this information, you are going to find it out from your peers, unless you just live under a rock.
thetakingback 0
Ummm a g spot is not part of your anatomy. it's not a confirmed body part at all.
amaranthphantom 0
if you're not gonna Google it and get your information right, then shut the hell up tarynkd. The woman's reproduction is on the inside, but the ******** is not for reproductive purposes. it's located right in front of the ******. It's a little nubby things with lots of nerve endings. grow up or shut up.
kellster 2
Tarynkd, you just made my day with your dumbassery! Lesson #1: just because something can give a woman an ****** does not mean it is the g-spot. The g-spot is a specific thing with a specific location. The ******** is also a specific thing with a specific location. Those locations are not the same. One is inside and one is outside. Your statements are as idiotic as saying that the penis and the prostate are the same thing, because they can both lead to orgasms. Lesson #2: if you're an ignorant, naive little virgin, maybe don't go trying to give people advice about sex or anatomy, mmkay? Lesson #3: when you find out that they're in complete ignorance of what you're talking about, google is your friend. Also, stfu. Don't talk about it if you don't know about it - because I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people on this site who actually DO know what they're talking about when it comes to sex - and when you find out just how uninformed you are, do yourself a favor and close your mouth.
smithersss 0
STOP COMMENTING YOU ******* IDIOT god damn what's it like being this ******* stupid
xtiredofyoux 0
Hahah. Dumbass. Epic fail for trying to school all those small dicks out there. I hope you feel retarded, because apparently you are.
xtiredofyoux 0
Just google it, dude. Google knows everything. Although, make sure you're alone or things could become awkward.
crackAjack 0
haha thats so funny!! well hopefully even though you're ur "x-small" ur a grower not a show-er :)
plexico 4
Sorry, tarynkd, you need to do some research on the internet. Your ******** is on the outside. A boy with a little tiny button of a penis can easily rub it on your clit and give you a clitoral ******. Just inside your ****** is the Grafenberg spot (G-spot), if you **** a penis that is curved upward (and you are face-to-face) even a smallish penis will sufficiently stimulate the area and give you a vaginal ******. Where a larger penis may be useful is in stimulating the newly-discovered AFE spot. That is pretty deep in the ****** so a small man won't be able to reach it. It's not clear whether an ordinary penis is sufficient or whether a large one is required. Considering that you claim to be a virgin, I suggest you study and read a lot more, and advise a lot less. You kids are so lucky these days. Information about sex was so much harder to come by before the advent of the Internet. You should really get boned up on the subject before you get boned. Good luck with that.
dustbunny10 0
hahahaha ROFLMAO sounds like somethig I would do! I fav this FML your gf is awesome:P
crazycontagious 0
YDI for buying XS jeans. Skinny guys in tight pants = FAIL.
carbonbasedcynic 17
because fat guys in skinny jeans look SOOOO much better..
Faced159 0
The definition of ignorant means that you do not know, therefore, you are ignorant.
hottiegurl 0
Awww, at least we know she likes you for your personality...not your dick! :) LOL
egaonogenki 0
Aww, that's so cuuuuuute! Are you 12?