Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML
Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mif_fml 27
It only works if you're Gabriel Iglesias and offering a box of Krispy Kreme.
grace31297 14
…does that mean that you donut recommend trying it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
zack_decker 4
I would think that it would be against cop rules to take food.?
JRT98 12
No, it isn't technically, but they aren't going to eat food offered by a stranger... Seems kinda shady don't it?
bravesgirl55 11
Yes, it is. As many people as there are who hate cops, I would be very careful too!
Axel5238 29
Really depends on the intent. It could be seen as an attempt at a bribe even though it's good natured. Also as you said some might have put something in it so most will not.
feven 32
The imagery makes me laugh.
hacksaw246 24
As dumb as it was to do that I find it funny. If I could Id high five you for being ballsy and doing that
buckdharma 38
The officer is trained well to notice suspects under the influence. Your eyes were glazed over. your legs were like jelly, and he noticed a suspicious white powder on your upper lip. The donuts were still warm to the touch, and he noticed 5 were missing from a 12-pack.
ethan_unoxx 29
At least you were trying to be nice
buckdharma 38
You should have tried to make a getaway. Your defense? America runs on Dunkin.
TwentyFourBeerz 18
I've texted & drove with DPD right next to me on several occasions I've never been pulled over. You musta been doing some more stuff than that.
JBChristian 47
No, no OP "must" not have been doing something else. All it takes is a dedicated officer.
slyde32 12
well aren't you clever :) one day you'll rear end someone, or the police car next to you will notice what you're doing sooner or later
TwentyFourBeerz 18
I highly doubt it, 100% legal in my parts!
natisn0tonfire 4
Fatty Magoo vs The Aluminum Monster. The Aluminum Monster being the police officer.
ahippienamedrae 10
At least you didn't do what Mel Gibson did.
leilana33 4
you couldn't wait until you got home to eat that donut? besides donuts are unhealthy. YDI
False_Stupidity 42
Unhealthy, yes but extremely delicious, especially if chocolate glazed, Mmmm!
slyde32 12
how dare OP buy food they enjoy!