Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML
Today, I got locked inside the entrance area of a Walmart. I had to get an employee to get me out. FML
Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
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Top comments
t_rosie 7
Quite the booby trap....
manb91uk 22
That’s the breast story I’ve hears all day
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Comments (17)
Akitakat 31
Watch it wiggle... see it jiggle... sprinkles so fruity... lotsa whipped cream topped with cherry...
Akitakat 31
A man walks up to a Walmart employee, as he points at you as & says “ Excuse me mom, could you tell me how much she sells for & if you have any more in stock? This one is mine but my friends want to share one for themselves. ”
t_rosie 7
Quite the booby trap....
Lobby_Bee 18
Big udders, big rudders. 10/10 would watch.
Little Richard 11
I can't wait to see the pics, on the people of Wal-Mart website.
RichardPencil 32
Stuck on the shelf holding quart jugs? Nice, ... very nice! Although some say that more than a cup is a waste!
TheAngelLikeGirlGamer23 7
Oh lord??
Leaynax 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
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Glowworm56 27
Maybe you should have asked for help next time.
Rabite 28
Yeah, totally weird that she didn't ask for a thin person without boobs to get her something out of a fridge, although it's so very common to get stuck with your boobs while shopping. Happens to me all the time.
Glowworm56 27
I meant for climbing into the fridge to get the obviously very high milk jug--not getting her unstuck.
Rabite 28
That's what my answer was for. So maybe I put it in other words. Why would you ask someone to help you with something you are totally capable of? Only because some very unlikely stupid stuff could happen? It would even be more reasonable to ask someone to help you after the mishap happened.
manb91uk 22
That’s the breast story I’ve hears all day