Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML
Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
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Top comments
mif_fml 27
It only works if you're Gabriel Iglesias and offering a box of Krispy Kreme.
grace31297 14
…does that mean that you donut recommend trying it?
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Comments (125)
fsomelife 26
You're possibly one of the most awesome people I've ever heard of.
BellaBear90 27
You don't get out much do you?
tournamentdecide 33
I want a donut. Share with me.
fsomelife 26
I'm not saying this is the craziest thing I've ever heard of :)
noved911 4
It is kinda awesome....OP might have been just offering the donut out of kindness and apology. He might not have realized that it would insult the officer.
aliceanon 13
I would be an awful police officer because I would have accepted the donut.
RusticChick 27
You must not be able to multitask if you can't even drive while eating simple hand food.
cinskeep43 15
donuts are not simple.. they are complex and delicate works of art...
danthehuman 29
" I donut want that donut..."
silveronica5 12
Yeesh, if I was the police officer I would take the doughnut. That sucks though, hope you didn't get a ticket
CurlyQute 17
At least you offered
xNephilim 19
Shit, it's the officer's loss. I don't care what profession I'm in, somebody offers me a donut, I accept.
AFaye3964 17
I would've offered him one.. Atleast you were kind enough.
cinskeep43 15
I'm surprised he didn't pull you over to get one! Lol
Gityerchicken 12
Sharing is caring OP. At least you tried.