Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, being the new driver I am, I was trying to keep my speed at posted because I know that cops will target me. I ended up getting pulled over for my too-low speed and given a ticket because I was holding up a line of cars. FML
Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked if I had a reason for going so fast. I panicked and said, “I have to poop.” He followed me home with lights on, just to make sure I made it. FML.
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Joking with police, in this day and age? OP, I bet you joke about carrying bombs in an airport, too...
jkjorn 18
OP might be related to my space cadet sister-in-law, who tried that excuse once.. the cop shot it down by pointing out that it was 3 am in a remote area, and she was the only car he'd seen for nearly an hour. She, and you, deserve it.
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Comments (4)
JasonThorn 23
Joking with police, in this day and age? OP, I bet you joke about carrying bombs in an airport, too...
jkjorn 18
OP might be related to my space cadet sister-in-law, who tried that excuse once.. the cop shot it down by pointing out that it was 3 am in a remote area, and she was the only car he'd seen for nearly an hour. She, and you, deserve it.
tiptoppc 21
She WAS the traffic
idragosani 17
Rule #1 -- Unless you are Gabriel Iglesias, don't make jokes at the police.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I wanna know how much further OP fell after being caught speeding and then accused of a DUI. Were they found with drugs? Open-carrying in a closed-carrying state? Were they recording a tape for Mr. I'mtoogoodtocallorwritemyfans?