Today, I was playing with my hedgehog and he started licking my face. I thought it was super cute, until he latched onto my eyelid with his teeth. He then created a ball of saliva and blood and coated his body in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML
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Top comments
Levvy 22
The saliva thing is called "self anointing". There's a lot of debate as to why they do it, but it's a pretty normal hedgehog behavior. They taste/smell something unusual, foam up, and smear it all over themselves. The biting thing is called "being a dick" and is also a not unusual hedgehog behavior.
lukcy_basartd 11
Well ******** hell, quite friendly that was.
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Comments (23)
lukcy_basartd 11
Well ******** hell, quite friendly that was.
darshini_ii 24
He has now marked his territory.
Konarika 11
A hedgehog? You're aware of how extremely unhygienic that is? They are hosts to way more parasites than regular pets.
ukmedic 5
It will be an African Pygmy hedgehog, not a regular wild English hedgehog (which as illegal to keep as pets). They're a widely kept and healthy exotic pet, that are completely hygienic as long as they are kept properly and do not carry any parasites
Levvy 22
How unhygienic... what is, exactly? Owning a hedgehog? Being licked by one? What mouth parasites do they supposedly have that you wouldn't find in the mouths of other common pets?
tierasue0101 3
not if you actually take care of them....
thatslifeiguess7 16
what other pets do you have a badger? a raccoon?
Bearsmomma 30
I used to have a coatimundi. Same as a raccoon. He was amazing. ❤️ Snuffy
TonierShadow 19
So that's their secret for going fast.
PaulieXP 16
Nice to see all the hard work put into the new interface. Now there's double the ads and crashes! Yeepee!!
PaulieXP 16
Nice to see all the hard work put into the new interface. Now there's double the ads and crashes! Yeepee!!
species4872 20
And don't forget the double postings.
CyberHex305 17
Sonic was never the same after sonic boom
Kaalschneid 21
That's seriously metal. I'd unleash that brutal monster on my enemies.
Arashikage 18
Should've fed him chili dogs