Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
midjigirl 13
Why would you ever do that and how did you not see the tick first?
ctosc 21
you totally deserved this
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
midjigirl 13
Why would you ever do that and how did you not see the tick first?
ctosc 21
you totally deserved this
ayyy_bro 26
Why the hell would you nibble on a dog's ear...?
UnicornLife 5
This made me throw up in my mouth
AutisticPat 10
OP...you went to the doctor, right? Ticks carry diseases!
Iamthebanzai22 21
Oh dear God.... hurls. Who does that4?
Mungolikecandy 19
Who nibbles on their dogs ears?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Don't be trying to eat your dog. Also, get checked for Lyme Disease.
Duc du V. 23
That's a kind of a "hot dog" that ended as a "blood sausage"... YDI !
Neminess 10
Maybe check your dog more often for ticks? You deserved the blood in your mouth. How could you not see the tick? And also, why are you nibbling on her ear?